Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Dumbass Design™ Volume I: The Arctic Tern

I love nature shows. I am clearly not alone in this. Consider the words of William Flanagan, head custodian in the biology building of prestigious Boston University: "Sure, nature shows are great! What, you don't like 'em? What are you, retahded?"

The Arctic Tern, a small lovely seabird with long tapered wings and known to some as the sea swallow, holds the world record for length of migration, and we here at Lotsa 'Splainin' are confident that no other species is going to try to break this record just to get into The Guinness Book of World Records, no matter how drunk they get with their frat buddies. The Arctic Tern migrates each year from the Arctic Circle to Antarctica.

Again, William Flanagan: "What? Tierra Del Fuego isn't enough of a craphole for these stuck-up idiots? They go from the number one inhospitable craphole on earth to the second most inhospitable craphole on earth, all the freakin' way around the freakin' planet? What are they, retahded? I got a better idea; just go to the edge of the Arctic Circle and fly laps! What Dumbass came up with the Arctic Tern?"

What Dumbass indeed, Mr. Flanagan? And we will be asking this question again in future installments of Dumbass Design™.


Tara Mobley said...

And nature is just full of things like that. Good to see you out here, Matty.

Matty Boy said...

Hi, Tara; glad to see you on board. I may need pictures of Evvie for my semi-regular Pretty Girls, Babies and Dogs feature. If you are in the picture we can have a pretty girl and a baby, meeting two of the three requirements.

Juanuchis said...

Oh, I can do Dogs, Matty. Cool blog. Thanks to Padre! :)