Wednesday, April 25, 2007
They Wouldn’t Believe Me™: Volume 2
Welcome to the second installment of They Wouldn’t Believe Me™. The premise of these essays is that some method exists to send messages into the past, and instead of sending something useful like the list of Kentucky Derby winners, I give people living forty years ago information about the next four decades that they would consider nearly impossible, or at least highly unlikely.
I’ve decided to make a rule about sending back messages about inflation. Since inflation is a fact of life, for any mention of some particular item rising tenfold in cost or more, I will balance it with an incredible bargain from present times. I’ve also set myself a restriction that the bargain is not found exclusively at Wal-Mart.
So without further ado, here is a second list of ten facts from the last forty years sent back to baffle and amaze people living in the late 1960s.
1. Dennis Hopper will be a paid spokesman for retirement investments.
2. Muhammad Ali will be the beloved ceremonial lighter of the Olympic flame.
3. Of all the people connected to the Counterculture of the ‘60s and ‘70s, the most despised will be the actress who played Barbarella.
4. Democratic presidential administrations will be noted for their fiscal restraint. Republican presidential administrations will run up massive deficits, especially the ones considered by the public to be the most conservative.
5. While a gallon of gas will cost over $3 a gallon in many parts of the country, the most popular California varietal wines will cost $2 a bottle. Moreover, this amazing bargain wine will NOT be sold by Ernest and Julio Gallo.
6. A president of the United States will walk the streets of Ho Chi Minh City (known as Saigon 40 years ago) in a united communist Vietnam, but still no president will have visited Havana, Cuba.
7. The most popular sporting event in the country will be the Super Bowl. On the Monday after the game, people with minimal interest in football will go to work and discuss the best and worst commercials that aired during the game.
8. The tremendous success of the NFL will happen in spite of no team in either New York City or the Los Angeles metropolitan area.
9. Lying about an affair will be considered an impeachable offense.
10. Lying about the reasons for starting a war will not be considered an impeachable offense.
Also posted on the Smirking Chimp.