Sunday, May 13, 2007

Shouldn't That Be a Foul?

Hell to the NO!

Lemme 'splain.

Both players are in the air. What Baron Davis, the guy with the ball, in doing to Andrei Kirilenko, the guy whose career is about to be defined, is called incidental contact. You can see from the picture the Kirilenko is much taller than Davis, about six inches taller. You can see from the picture that though the crowd is standing, they aren't particularly excited.

The crowd's mood would change about a half second later.

The Warriors beat the Utah Jazz convincingly on Friday night, but most of the talk was about this particular play, late in the game when the result was pretty much already settled. Baron Davis scored on a truly impressive dunk. The slang term is "administering a facial", though the facial is not supposed to be a hand to the face. The metaphor is that the defending player will be under the basket and the ball hits him in the face. The old school metaphor was "feeding him a Wilson-burger", which referred to the brand of the official ball.

The other slang term is that Davis posterized Kirilenko. This refers to a play so cool, it becomes a poster people put on the wall, or in this case, use as the background picture on their computer screen. Davis is the star of the poster, but Kirilenko is also immortalized, but not in a good way. No metaphor here.

Before this moment, Andrei Kirilenko was best known for his truly awful haircut and the fact that his beautiful bride, bowing to the realities of an athlete's life on the road, has made a rule that Andrei can have sex with someone else once and only once a year.

I'll tell you this. Andrei ain't getting any love in Oakland any time in the foreseeable future.