Wednesday, July 4, 2007

They Wouldn’t Believe Me™: Volume 4.1

Your face, your eyes, your lovely hair
Are in a class beyond compare...
You're the loveliest girl that could ever be.

Those lyrics from Jerome Kern's They Didn't Believe Me tell us we are ready for another installment of They Wouldn't Believe Me™, the odd messages I would send back 40 years into the past to an astonished public. Instead of a full list of ten (harder than it looks, I can assure you) I'm putting forward a short list apropos to today's holiday. It's a short list of progressive surprises for our friends in the past.

1. A majority of people pay for TV, so that they have hundreds of choices instead of less than ten.

2. Among those hundreds of choices are many 24 hour a day sports channels, on some systems ten or more, on any "reasonable" system at least three. (Not that much of a surprise, given hundreds of channels.)

3. On the biggest of the 24 hour a day sports channels, which you have to pay for, there will be live games from Major League Baseball, the NBA and the NFL, as well as major motor sports, golf, tennis and college sports. (Notice pro hockey is missing.)

4. On this biggest sports channel, on the holiday celebrating our nation's birth, the highlights of the day's broadcast will be a hot dog eating contest and a spelling bee.

(Note: I was in a poker room today, and the amount of money that changed hands based on the hot dog eating contest was at least in the thousands of dollars. I want to say here that I do bet on myself in poker, but I don't bet on competitive eating contests. I like to gamble, but I'm not an idiot.)

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