Sunday, August 19, 2007

They call her Natascha when she looks like Elsie. Wait...

Upon further review and with apologies to Elvis Costello, she looks like a Natascha.

This is Natascha McElhone. She is a British actress who usually plays the "Who's the NEW girl?" role. For example, she plays the role of the girl Jim Carrey falls in love-at-first-sight with in The Truman Show. I was considering her for the Adopt an Actor choice, but felt Jeffrey Wright was a more worthy choice. That said, doesn't her picture kind of brighten the place up? Of course it does.

As pretty as Ms. McElhone is, she does bring up questions about proportion.

a) Aren't her cheekbones too prominent?

b) Aren't her eyes a little too blue?

c) Aren't her lips too inviting?

We commissioned a polling company to ask these questions to red-blooded American males, and just to make sure people didn't think the poll was entirely Natascha McElhone, we added two questions as a control mechanism to check the baseline results.

d) Does Serena Williams have too much junk in the trunk?

e) Are Pamela Anderson's breasts too big?

The answers were as follows and in order: a) No. b) Hell, no. c) What, you crazy? d) Nah, man, that's how I like it! and e) What the fuck? Are you gay or something? 'Cause muthafucka, I don't play that!

And thus speaks the red blooded American male.

And a quick mention of the winner of the Lotsa 'Splainin' Adopt an Actor sweepstakes. Mr. Jeffrey Wright can be seen in a small but pivotal role in the new movie The Invasion, the kajillionth remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, this one starring Nicole Kidman.

It's an allegory! It's a metaphor!

It's a candy mint! It's a breath mint!

It's a floor wax! It's a desert topping, you COW!

Sorry. Got carried away there.


commander other said...

a) yes, but in a sexy way. don't tell Mrs. Other, but Ms. McElhone's a hottie, and i knew the first time i watched "Ronin" that she was deeply, madly, unabashedly in love with me. So sad.

b) there is not such a thing as "too blue" for the eyes. unless they're glowing. and/or pulsating. and/or coming towards me out of a dark corner.

c) oh yes. oh Yes. Oh Yes! OH YES!

d) yes, repeatedly, i'm told.

e) in case of an emergency your breast implants may be used as flotation devices.

[f) you has been blogrolled]

Matty Boy said...

Thank you, Commander. I'll make a point of visiting your blog as well.