Monday, October 22, 2007

Nekkid pitchers of young blue eyed blonde lap dancer.

With readership down slightly, what does Matty Boy do? He resorts to pandering!

I see a bright future for that young lad.

This is Li'l Hunter Kitteh. Technically, since she is wearing a flea collar, she is not completely nekkid, but worrying about literal truth when readership is down is a luxury the desperate blogger cannot afford.

Because she has the collar and doesn't appear malnourished, I assume that the owner of Li'l Hunter Kitteh lets her roam during the day when the owner is at work. While she doesn't look dangerously skinny, Li'l Hunter Kitteh is starved for affection.

When the old guy with the big nose sits down on his stairs, Li'l Hunter Kitteh will come up to him, brash hussy that she is, climb up on his lap, then put her paws on his chest and demand attention. The old guy with the big nose knows what teh kittehs like. When he scratches behind her ears and on her back near the base of her tail, Li'l Hunter Kitteh purrs and sometimes even drools a little. She sticks out her tiny tongue. When she really likes it, she tries to bite the big nose. She doesn't bite hard, and when he pulls away, she doesn't force the issue.

The old guy with the big nose doesn't really mind when she tries to bite his big nose, but if someone would invent kitteh breath mints, he would certainly buy them.


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Now playing: The Rutles - I Must Be In Love
via FoxyTunes

8 comments:

commander other said...

that's the furriest pussy i've seen online this week!

(so there, now you can get hits by virtue of 'that' word)

commander other's four kittehs, who seem to not want to leave him alone this morning, say they all could kick Li'l Hunter Kitteh's ass.

(so there, now you can get hits by virtue of 'that' word, too. ain't i nice?)

Matty Boy said...

Thanks, Commander. I did put in the key words "bite", "tongue" and "tail", but now I'm sure the hits on this post will go through the roof.

Of course, this runs into the same problem that the band that called itself Free Beer had. It's a good way to get people in the door, but they may feel disappointed when they find out the truth.

dguzman said...

Well, if you're gonna pander, might as well do it with a picture of a cute kitteh.

FranIAm said...

kitteh is the way to go if you want pussy and tits, oops i mean hits on your blog.

i am so bad.

matthew is that you, you charming devil?

the cat is gorgeous by the way.

reminds me of mr booboo, who gets plenty of affection but begs for more.

and i have been away a lot in albany, where mr boob oo (does that count as boob to spice up the blog hits?) move as soon as we get our jack russell terrorist settled with mr he is's sister.

terrorists and pussy just don't go well together.

and the cutest kitteh always wins.

Matty Boy said...

Pay no attention to The Old Guy With The Big Nose behind the curtain!

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MATTY BOY OF LOTSA...

Okay, busted.

Distributorcap said...

maybe you should introduce her to POP's Fred The Cat

FranIAm said...

Oh, as I imagined, you are adorable. I know I am being vaguely creepy and embarassing you.

You know I have my Matty thing. I am 3000 miles away and married, so no worries for you. But I can have my thoughts still, can't I?

Honestly Matty, even when I thought "hair dresser" I simply thought you were the smartest and funniest kid in the class, that's all!

You're safe. Plus I see that a much thinner and more agreeable blue eyed blond has caught your fancy! I'm just too short at 5'1" anyway!

Ignore the man behind the kitteh!

pissed off patricia said...

Dis Cap, took my comment. Yeah, Fred the Cat loves blue eyed ladies.