Wednesday, October 10, 2007

You'll come for the gigantic child brides. You'll stay for the nagging.

I had published a picture of Padma Lakhshmi previously, but it was a just a cheesecake shot, with her in a small bikini posing seductively. Where's the fun in that? If she's a gigantic child bride, show her towering over her older, smaller groom, Matty Boy! That's what the peoples want!

Sorry to disappoint earlier and glad to oblige now. Here's Padma and her tiny sugar daddy, Salman Rushdie. Things didn't work out for these impetuous kids. I haven't been keeping track of the particulars of their marital discord, but the rumors that are often repeated are that Salman came the the conclusion that she might not love him for himself, but instead for the wad of cash he is sitting on.

In the tale of the tape, Padma is either 5'9" or 5'11", Salman is 5'7" and the age difference is a mere 23 years. (For my readers from many lands, that's 1m 80 to 1m 70.)

It might have struck Mr. Rushdie that people might take him less seriously as they saw him scurrying around the feet of the youthful colossal wife. "OMG!" Salman might have thought. "I've become Rod Stewart! This won't do!"

Rod Stewart, like his countryman Dudley Moore, goes through gigantic child brides like Kleenex. His most recent is Penny Lancaster, the 6'2" (1m 88) Victoria's Secret model who was born when Maggie May was climbing the charts, Rod's song about a young bloke dating a older woman.

Penny, be a good giantess and in the morning, kick Rod in the head. (I'm pretty sure I don't have to remind her to wreck his bed.) It'll remind him of his younger days. Ah, good times!

A note to my fellow bloggers: The Google is inviting us to blog about the environment on Monday, October 15. If you have something you want to say on the topic, you can register on the main Blogger page, or as I like to call it, backstage.

All of us are free agents, of course, but for those who decide it's not that important, just know that Matty Boy will be quietly judging you.

No pressure.

Now playing: Was (Not Was) - Walk The Dinosaur
via FoxyTunes


Splotchy said...

God bless you and your unflinching coverage of gigantic child brides!

FranIAm said...

Great. Another keyboard clean up. This time herbal tea. Thanks Matty!

The spit take perfected, Lotsasplainin' style!

Anyway what an especially grand giant child bride post! It exceeds even your own already gigantic standards. Well done indeed.

Nice touch with the metrics too. What a gentleman.

And the Maggie May lyrics are what ultimately did me in.

As for Monday. Thanks Matty, I am already feeling sweaty and anxious. And it ain't sex and it ain't global warming. Shit, why do I care what you think????

dguzman said...

Man, when you put Mrs. Kucinich next to Mrs Grandpa, you see how truly hidious Mrs. Grandpa is. That Mrs. Kucinich is a hottie.