Friday, November 9, 2007

Matty Boy, investment advisor to the stars*

Let's look back at some of the things you could have invested in as of the beginning of 2007 until right now, bright and early on November 9th. Here are the percentage increases in a few commodities, currencies and the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

The big percentage leader: Crude Oil 70.6%

Don't have any crude oil lying around? Well, you just weren't thinking ahead, were you? Okay, no worries, there are other choices.

The next three best choices.
Gold: 33.2%
Canadian dollar: 25.6%
Silver: 20.6%

Three not quite as attractive options:
Euro: 13.0%
British pound: 6.2%
Dow Jones Industrial Average: 6.0%

Investing in crude oil is tricky, because these are actually two month contracts. The price quoted today is a two month contract, so you have to buy and sell and re-buy a lot instead of just buying once and holding on to it. Many folks who do currency trading also buy and sell and re-buy a lot. With gold and silver, like with stocks, you can easily buy it once, hold onto it as long as you like and then sell it when you feel like it.

The point of this little table of facts and figures is that the Canadian dollar is going crazy right now. Just as crude oil completely dominates the other commodity based investments, the Loonie outstrips the Euro and the Pound something fierce. These two facts are inter-related. Canada is the most politically stable oil exporting nation in the world right now. While the rest of the Canadian economy might have its bright spots and weaknesses, oil from Alberta is going great guns.

The geographically savvy among you might say, Matty Boy! North Sea crude! That belongs to the United Kingdom! How come they aren't seeing the big spike as well?

It is the strongly held opinion of Matty Boy, investment advisor to the stars*, that part of the luster of both the Loonie and the Euro is that, unlike the U.S. and the U.K., these countries for the most part are not pissing away their money, people and prestige fighting endless wars and supporting endless occupations of countries halfway around the world.

So get in your time machines, set the dial for New Year's Day 2007, and go buy yourself a shitload of Canadian currency or gold. Maybe you can get gold Canadian coins**! They're really pretty. You'll be glad you did!

*No star's money was harmed in the writing of this post. Matty Boy is not responsible for money lost taking his advice. Matty Boy doesn't actually know any stars. If Matty Boy claims to be the investment advisor to the lights in the sky, be advised that astronomical objects have no need for cash money, and exceedingly few of them are planning for retirement, what with the whole supernova/black hole situation.

Technically, the asterisk in his title is a star. Maybe that's who Matty Boy is actually giving investment advice to. Anything's possible. That boy's crazy!

**Canadian gold coins, while pretty, are not worth more than gold in any other form. But you're buying it from Canadians, and they sure seem like decent folks, don't they?

And now the Friday tradition stolen entirely from Padre Mickey, the Random 10.

Except that it's the random shuffle on my computer, not his.

Viente AƱos Buena Vista Social Club
Crime In The Desert Brian Eno & John Cale
Tell Mama Etta James
Nelson Mandela The Special A.K.A.
Ask The Lonely The Four Tops
Ooh Baby Baby Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
Pump It Up Elvis Costello & The Attractions
New Parchman Mose Allison
Speak Low Charlie Haden & Kurt Weill
Cult Of Personality Living Colour

Lots of ampersands this week. The Eno & Cale album is really good, and bassist Charlie Haden's duet through the shifting sands of time with Kurt Weill is from the September Songs album, an excellent collection of Kurt Weill tunes by various artists.

But Pump It Up has to be the song choice for Matty Boy, investment advisor to the stars*.

Now playing: Elvis Costello & The Attractions - Pump It Up
via FoxyTunes


dguzman said...

You know, this person I used to work with was trying to get me to invest in metals, specifically gold and silver, at the end of last year. Claimed it was a no-risk, high-reward sure thing. But I didn't of course (what am I, Warren Buffett? I can't even balance a checkbook much less "invest"). Now I feel a little dumb, BUT that chick isn't my friend anymore, so that makes up for the dumb--having avoided the uncomfortable crap of investing with someone you had a falling-out with. See? Everyone's a winner.

Matty Boy said...

People have been talking up silver and gold for some time, but this is the year that it actually made sense.

Your former friend was blowing smoke. There was and still is downside, but the fears of inflation probably make metals a pretty good bet.