Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Not a hoax! Not an imaginary story!

I use the phrase above from the DC Comics of the 1960s to describe this week's cover of the allegedly serious political magazine The Economist. When those words appeared on a cover, it was a good bet that the story inside was complete bullshit. This one could take its place over at Superdickery in the section called Stupid Comic Covers.

Bush has said he favors a Palestinian state since he first slunk into office. But he has said a lot of things. This cover wouldn't carry any more weight if it called Bush Mr. Balanced Budget or Mr. Integrity In Government. Instead of paying attention to the words that drip out of this pinhead's mouth like so much shit, let's take a look at how he has spend our money.

Bush hired this creep John Bolton to be a diplomat. Bolton is as suited to diplomacy as Snoop Dog is suited to be a priest. More than just hired, Bush made Bolton a recess appointment when the Senate Democrats, rare on spine this century, decided that they would not approve hiring him as our representative at the United Nations, an institution Bolton openly despises.

Bolton also openly despises making any concessions to the Palestinians. He was a major voice in the conservative chorus that mocked Bill Clinton's peace initiatives at the end of his presidency.

Bolton is currently not working for the president, and if one has to give him points for consistency, he is openly contemptuous of what's going on in Annapolis now as well. Even an day calendar you don't update is right once every seven years.

This woman, of course, is still working for the President, and there may be no Secretary of State with a less impressive record. She can't work out agreements with Dick Cheney, for fuck's sake! As Condi's brilliant chronicler Princess Sparkle Pony has pointed out, the Israelis have invented a new Hebrew word lecondel in "honor" of Miss Rice, meaning to be involved in lots of useless meetings that don't accomplish shit.

Bush has been called the MBA President and the CEO President, and hiring Karen Hughes to be the face of public diplomacy in the Middle East certainly is the act of a bonehead MBA running a business right into the fucking ground, inventing an idiot new position for a crony unsuited for the task. The people of that region have had to put up with her happy face horseshit (or is it horse faced happy shit?) while seeing the results of pre-emptive war up close and personal. She may have less success in her job than Condi has had in hers, and that's a hard bar to limbo under.

George W. Bush, Mr Palestine? We might as well call him Mr. World Series for his unremarkable tenure as owner of the hapless Texas Rangers.

Now playing: Randy Newman - Political Science
via FoxyTunes


Splotchy said...

Maybe they forgot the ironic quotation marks on the cover. I could see several places where they would be appropriate.

dguzman said...

They've all been snorting Georgie's cocaine, apparently. It's hard to believe they weren't laughing their asses off as they put this cover together, and then peeing themselves with laughter as they wrote the "story."

Mr. Shit for Brains, Ms. Lecondel, Ms. JuniorLeague FreakShow, and Mr. Walrus Mustache from Hell. What a government.

Matty Boy said...

My only guess as to why The Economist is involved in this propaganda sell is that Tony Blair is involved in the Annapolis process, and they still want to act like what the Brits do actually matters on the world stage.

jolie said...

on t'other hand: such good news yesterday - the unexpected fibrillation. woohoo!!

pissed off patricia said...

The thing is nothing happened. They met and agreed to try to work things out. That road has been traveled before.

Anonymous said...

What a joke. Good post Matty. A few well deserved yuks at the end of a long day.

FranIAm said...

Amazingly not photoshopped, eh?

I am so over it all. Are we doomed?

Matty Boy said...

FranIAm asks the question "Are we doomed?"

Right now, I'm reading Kevin Phillips' American Theocracy, which deals with a lot of the same topics I hit upon in this blog, with less snark and more scholarship: the price of oil, the strength of the American economy and the strength of the dollar, the many reasons we are fighting unending wars in the Middle East, the number of people who appear to be completely batshit crazy who are now considered "mainstream".

Maybe we aren't doomed, but the bus is heading that way and nobody's putting on the brakes.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It only took the crooks 7 years to get going on it. I imagine they think if they pull off a deal in the latest round of Israel appeasment then Bush might escape with his legacy intact.

Jess Wundrun said...

My personal theory, recounted to my helpmeet just this morning is that George Bush is a freaking GENIUS!!!

I mean, consider the balls of steel, the intelligence, the foresight to realize that if you ignore a problem for seven whole years waiting until it festers itself into a weeping pustule, well by the time you spring to action people will think ANY movement is a success!

Can you imagine how difficult it was for Bushie to sit around going "wait for it....wait for it....." while Lebanon was in flames last year?

Best president evah!

Distributorcap said...

the economist = the onion

watching Condi on the today show today was actually BETTER than any writer could imagine -- they should stay on strike and let Condi have all the air time in Prime -- she is a laugh riot -- to the moon Condi

FranIAm said...

Matty Boy- I think there are some parallels between Phillips book and Chris Hedges' American Fascist.

I don't know if we are doomed, but we are sorta screwed.

jolie said...

I think jess wundrun is onto something. bush's behavior evidences what in psychiatric circles is called munchausen's by proxy.

"In MBPS, an individual - usually a mother - deliberately makes another person (most often his or her own preschool child) sick or convinces others that the person is sick. The parent or caregiver misleads others into thinking that the child has medical problems by lying and reporting fictitious episodes. He or she may exaggerate, fabricate, or induce symptoms. As a result, doctors usually order tests, try different types of medications, and may even hospitalize the child or perform surgery to determine the cause.

Typically, the perpetrator feels satisfied when he or she has the attention and sympathy of doctors, nurses, and others who come into contact with him or her and the child. Some experts believe that it isn't just the attention that's gained from the "illness" of the child that drives this behavior, but there is satisfaction gained by the perpetrator in being able to deceive individuals that they consider to be more important and powerful than themselves. (my emphasis)

MBP is considered a mental illness and, because the behavior harms another, criminal.

no_slappz said...

matty boy,

As it has been said, the palestinians never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.

The real question is whether the palestinians will ever accept a two-party solution. There is every reason to believe they will not.

Olmert stated:

The Palestinian leadership, he noted, must "want to make peace with Israel as a Jewish state."

The Palestinian leadership responded quickly and unequivocally to Olmert's demand:

The Higher Arab Monitoring Committee in Nazareth unanimously called on the Palestinian Authority not to recognize Israel as a Jewish state.

Salam Fayad, Palestinian Authority "prime minister": "Israel can define itself as it likes, but the Palestinians will not recognize it as a Jewish state."

Yasser Abed Rabbo, secretary general of the Palestinian Liberation Organization's executive committee: "This issue is not on the table; it is raised for internal [Israeli] consumption."

Ahmad Qurei, chief Palestinian negotiator: "This [demand] is absolutely refused."

Saeb Erekat, head of the PLO Negotiations Department: "The Palestinians will never acknowledge Israel's Jewish identity...There is no country in the world where religious and national identities are intertwined."

The preceding statement is an astonishing claim considering its source.

Meanwhile, what you seem to overlook is the fact that there never was a nation of Palestine. As a nation, Palestine is the sovereign equivalent of the North Pole. We know where it is and what goes on there, but it's not a nation, never was a nation, and therefore, the people who claim they are Palestinians are perpetrating a ruse.

The boundaries are also reminiscent of a Venn diagram. The region is best described as the land that is not Egypt, not Syria, not Lebanon and not Jordan.

Furthermore, the ruse is aided by the refusal of the surrounding nations to grant citizenship to the displaced muslims who left the British Mandate of Palestine AND their descendants.

After people arrive in the US -- including those who arrive here illegally -- any children born to them are Americans. But the muslims prefer to perpetrate a fraud upon the world by creating a growing pool of refugees.

Of course this defies the historical standard for refugees. Historically refugees are the people who flee. Never before have the children of displaced persons, born in other countries, been identified as refugees. But if the outside status of actual displaced persons is extended by the refusal of a new nation to accept the offspring of refugees as citizens, it is possible to create an increasing population of "refugees" by fraudulent means.

What do we call the offspring of Vietnamese Boat People who came to America? Americans. Americans of Vietnamese descent. But Americans, nonetheless. Cubans who swarmed here in the 1980 Mariel Boat Lift when Castro emptied his jails? Americans.

Do any of these people want to return to their nations of origin? Nothing suggests they do.

As for the UN and John Bolton, well, I attended a conference at the UN several days ago. Ironically, it was a global warming and climate change conference. Inside the UN building there are several dining and lounge areas. In these interior sites, people smoke. Like many rules and orders issued by the UN, the prohibition on smoking is also ignored.

Thus, Bolton has plenty of reasons to detest the UN.