Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Soviets

I'm too young to have memories of the Nazis in power. When I was a kid, these were the bad guys. The Soviets. Old, fat, ugly, ruthless, intellectually inbred son of bitches who didn't give a shit how bad the lives of the people were as long as they held onto the reigns of power.

How could vicious fucks like these, once defeated, ever make a comeback?

The flaws of the Soviet system were as numerous as fish in the sea, but near the top of the list was the unfunny joke that they called their justice system.

Our justice system, of course, is the envy of the world, what with all the rights the Constitution provides us.

You can be thrown in jail with no charges. Ask Barry Bonds' personal trainer Greg Anderson. Ask Bay Area blogger Josh Wolf. Ask Clinton associate Susan McDougal.

With enough money and fame, you can commit murder and get off. Ask Phil Spector. Ask Robert Blake. Ask O.J. Simpson. Or better yet, don't ask these vicious lying motherfuckers anything. Their smirking words mean nothing.

You can be found guilty and barely see the inside of a cell.

Commit treason and get charged with obstruction of justice: No jail time.

Driving drunk and possession of cocaine: 84 minutes in jail.

Multiple drunk driving convictions and driving without a license: Nearly three weeks in jail. But to be fair, Paris Hilton is a special case. Nobody really likes her.

And then there's the guys who aren't even charged with anything, and you have to be a crazy conspiracy theorist to think they've done anything wrong.

Yes, shame on you! I know what you're thinking! Shame!

And on top of all these unfunny jokes, we have a secret gulag system, where prisoners without names are being tortured by American civil servants. Your tax dollars at work.

I ask again.

How could vicious fucks like these, once defeated, ever make a comeback?

Now playing: The Clash - Clampdown
via FoxyTunes


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Great post.

Matty Boy said...

Spasibo... comrade.

dguzman said...

Powerful post, Matty. Should be required viewing for all.

Distributorcap said...

that was great Matty....

just toss up a picture of a stalag and we are almost there.....

Liberality said...

your snark is delicious! truer words were never spoken.