Thursday, December 6, 2007

Wrong on so many levels

This is the newly crowned Miss World, Zhang Zilin, from the People's Republic of China.

A pretty girl wins a beauty pageant. Where's the wrong in that, Matty Boy?

Lemme 'splain.

1. Minorest of minor quibbles: Her height is listed as either 6'1" or 1m 82. 1m 82 in metric would translate to 5'11 1/2". Either way, she's tall. Matty Boy isn't hatin' that.

2. Complaint of weirdness: Are we sure the Communist Party is still in charge in China? Back in the day, they hated beauty pageants as capitalist exploitation of women. And guess what? Pretty much, they were right! A commie beauty queen would fit very well in my They Wouldn't Believe Me™ posts.

3. Major problem: Look at those arms. She's tall and naturally lanky, but she is WAY too skinny. It's not just a problem of setting unrealistic goals for young women. It's also not doing the job of turning on dirty old men like me!

Which, as we know, is wrong on so many levels.

Zilin! Have some more lo mein! You are all skin and bones! You'll never catch a man that way! (Doing my best impression of a Chinese Jewish mother.)

Another representative from Africa! A visitor from Morocco looking for... giant women!
Welcome, brother! (Or sister. one can never be sure.)


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Now playing: David Bowie - China Girl
via FoxyTunes

6 comments:

jolie said...

I noticed the stick-like arms right off, too. and check out her hands: they're larger than life!

is she really real? or someone's bad illustration?

FranIAm said...

I am laughing and crying.

When I lived in LA most nail salons employed Vietnamese women, but here in the northeast we have multitudes of Chinese women. They wear name tags that say "Nanci" "Denyse" "Ellyn" "Sherri" and my personal favorite "Apple".

I always say- wow, I am sure Chairman Mao would be proud!

This post goes along those lines. My fear?

Given the econonmy, that in a few years I will be a possibly undocumented immigrant in China, doing the nails of well-heeled women, chatting with the other nail techs in English and wearing a name tag that says "Zilin".

That was more 'splainin than needed, but you know how I am.

And she is waaaaaay too thin. Yikes.

dguzman said...

Fran, again, I love you! What a great fear to have. (if there is such a thing)

Matty, I'm with Jolie--what's with the inordinately loooong and skinny arms and huge looong hands? She's disproportionate or something, and it's freaking me out.

Matty Boy said...

Yeah, the proportion is all wrong. Fred Astaire used to fret over the size of his large hands, which he hid with odd hand gestures. She might want to look at some old photos of Fred for tips.

Of all people, I should be the last to complain about a six foot tall Chinese woman with a pretty face, and she does have a pretty face.

The world's gone mad I tell you! IT'S A MADHOUSE!

Distributorcap said...

中國人擁有世界

FranIAm said...

Oh that rascal D-cap and his casual use of Mandarin.

Show off.