I saw this lolz on I Can Has Cheezburger and it made me laugh. I want to say it is not a reflection on my actual related by blood brother Michael. He is special in a drive all the way down from Santa Rosa to help a brother move on a rainy Saturday kind of way, not in a all of his clothes have Velcro fasteners kind of way.
Just sayin'. Making that clear.
Many years ago, we went to see Star Trek V: The Final Frontier together. It's an odd numbered Star Trek movie, so the nerds among you will already know the truth. It sucked. I was working in a very nerdy video game office at the time, and my boss saw it at midnight on Thursday AND treated the office to the movie Friday during work. Even my truly Trekker boss knew it.
Star Trek V sucked.
So my brother and I know this going in, and decide to make fun of it with snarky comments. Those who had the misfortune of sitting through this thing know that Spock's brother is a mystical Vulcan who wants to find God. Well, he hijacks the Enterprise and they find Him. God is stuck behind a barrier, and the Almighty needs the help of the starship to get out.
Kirk asks the very reasonable question: If you're God, why do you need to merge with a starship to get out of a barrier? God answers this question by shooting lightning bolts out of his eyes and knocking the crap out of Kirk.
There were two stoners sitting behind my brother and me, and one says the best thing I have ever heard out loud from a movie audience member.
"Duuuude... God's an asshole!"
Here endeth the lesson. Though I want to thank my brother Michael one more time.
Just making that clear.
Now playing: Tom Waits - Come On Up To The House
28 April 2015
1 hour ago