Thursday, April 17, 2008

Austria, land of... giantesses?

"So, Who is this?" hypothetical question asker asks. "Some gracefully aging foreign film star?"

Hypothetical, I'm surprised at you! You read Princess Sparkle Pony, don't you? This is Ursula Plassnik, foreign minister of Austria! While the Princess' blog has the subheader I keep track of Condoleeza's hairdo so you don't have to, the blog is interested in all intersections of the worlds of diplomacy and fashion. A few years back, the Princess stumbled upon pictures of Ms. Plassnik, and a star was born.

Besides being a skilled diplomat with an impressive track record, Ms. Plassnik goes her own way when choosing fashions acceptable for the work place. While many working women wear feminized versions of drab men's work attire in the office, Ursula goes for bright colors, her trademark scarves and accessories that sometimes include bracelets large enough to deflect bullets, as if she were an amazon like Wonder Woman.

As If? What am I saying as if? Ursula Plassnik is 6'3", or 1 m 90 in metric. She IS an amazon! Or is it a glamazon? Or maybe a diplomazon. In any case, whenever Princess Sparkle Pony posts a picture of Ms. Plassnik, many are the hubba-hubbas, and not just from me. It sometimes makes me wonder how many of My People support Our Agenda in the world.

It seems an unusual occurrence that Austria would produce a successful gal on the go who is so remarkably tall. Or is it that unusual?



This is an ad from Austria for a business school. Just like the Sprint ad I posted a few months back, this ad agency decided that the way to appeal to a modern working woman is to promise her that she will bestride her business environment like a cool and confident colossus. I can only guess what she is saying to her outmatched male co-worker at the meeting table.

"Yes, that's true, Hans, I could crush your tiny head like an egg, I suppose... if I ever gave it any thought. Now if you are making out my check now, I think there should be two more zeros at the end, don't you? Ah, you agree! Thank you, Hans. You are a good egg, if you don't mind me saying so."

I went to a translation website to find out what the text in the blue square over the head of tiny and cowed co-worker says, and the somewhat awkward translation came back "They are determined for the bigger." Aren't we all?

As a fully deputized representative of My People and Our Agenda, I have only thing to say to the Austrians.

Danke schön!

Yay, Flags of many Lands™! Yay, Libya! Say what you will about their politics, if you want to go for a simple and understated flag design, you can't get simpler than Libya.

What would make a citizen of a kinda sorta rogue nation come to Lotsa 'Splainin', you might ask? Alyssa Milano's lovely smile and prominent cleavage. Do you need a better reason?

7 comments:

Splotchy said...

Wow, crazy flag. I looked it up on Wikipedia. Apparently it's the only national flag that is one solid color and nothing else.

ken said...

My very rusty, but once almost tolerable German says a better translation might be "You were meant for bigger things"

Matty Boy said...

Thanks again, Ken. If I have to buy a round for every correction, I think we should both pitch in for a cab right now, or maybe take BART to the bar.

ken said...

Nah, not for this one. You said it was from Babelfish or some such. Besides, I might have blundered it, too. Anyone who really speaks German here?

Distributorcap said...

did you ever see my tribute to Ursula?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xdgCyLyLnT0

FranIAm said...

I refer to the amazing Ursula as "diplo-giantess" but that is just me and one of my same sex longings that pop up every now and then.

She's dreamy.

dguzman said...

OMG Matty Boy, I was SO unprepared to see La Ursula away from the pink and cozy confines of Sparkle Pony's site. My heart skipped about ten beats when I scrolled down and saw her. You must warn us next time; my heart can't take it!