Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Your gigantic child bride news source.... Update!

News from the world of gigantic child brides!

Dateline, New York. Mick Jagger attended the premiere of the new concert film of the Rolling Stones directed by Martin Scorsese with his latest love interest, fashion designer L'Wren Scott.

Ms. Scott was born in 1967, Mr. Jagger in 1943. His height is listed at 5'10" (1m 78 in metric), but that was measured before he spent the last 40+ years jumping up and down like a maniac on stage for a living. The natural compression of the spinal chord probably has him at maybe 5'8" by now. Ms. Scott is listed at 6'4", which is 1m 90 in metric and Yowza! Who's the NEW girl? on the Matty Boy scale.

6 to 8 inch height difference qualifies for gigantic, 24 year age difference qualifies for child, but given Mr. Jagger's reluctance to wed, the "bride" part of gigantic child bride is not accurate for this pair, and may not be for some time to come.

Those who have kept track of the gigantic child bride list may notice that the lucky bastids that capture these youthful and willowy prizes are among the rich and powerful. Rock stars, movie actors, famous authors, politicians, their ranks are rife with the capturers of Brobdingnagian beauty queens. But was about the rest of us? Is there any hope for those of us not world famous or staggeringly wealthy? Can some regular person who, say, writes a blog and has no fortune other than a sparkling personality hope to woo one of these towering treasures?

Signs point to yes, as a Magic 8-Ball might say.

Dateline Pennsylvania! Yes, this is Delia Guzman, friend of the blog and blogger in her own right, proprietress of Impeachment and Other Dreams and Beginning to Bird, standing next to her own gigantic child bride Kat Sinclair, at the ceremony held this weekend. In contrast to Jagger and Scott, the age difference is a more dignified 12 years, and the height difference is more impressive 12 inches. Yowza indeed!

More importantly, Ms. Guzman does not share Mr. Jagger's unseemly fear of commitment.

Best wishes to the happy couple.

Yay, Flags of Many Lands™! Yay, Oman!

I have not had visitors from all the large Asian countries, but if I can get someone from Yemen, I will complete my Arabian Peninsula merit badge, which would mean a free biscotti with purchase down at the Blogger Cafe. C'mon, Yemenis! Gigantic child brides await!


FranIAm said...

O man is right. Bad flag pun alarm sounds. Sorry.

Those two women are too gorgeous. Kat is indeed a giantess and I am sure that her real stately nature begins deep in her heart.

As for our girl Delia, look at that smile.

It says everything.

BTW, one time I arrived back at La Guardia airport late at night- flight delays and such things. The terminal was nearly empty, but who did I see walking through it with me?

None other than the Mick-ster... who was surprisingly short to me. This was about 20 years ago.

CDP said...

Very nice!
(Mick Jagger, 5' 10"? ridiculous)

Jess Wundrun said...

I love that picture of our Miss Delia. She looks so damned happy.

I could pinch her cheeks.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Delia and Kat are waaaaay cuter than those nobodies in the top picture!

dguzman said...


Matty Boy, I luvs you. I can't wait to show Kat that she's now "in" on the GCB. She'll be so pleased.

Matty Boy said...

Glad to oblige, dg. Y'all were always "in" the GCB club, all I needed was a pitcher to make it official.

Distributorcap said...

if Mick Jagger is 5-10, i am Walter Cronkite.

as for Delia and Kat -- they look mahvelous!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Kat is much better looking than Mick's woman. Delia has much better taste in women.