Thursday, May 29, 2008

Holy Shucking Fit for Spring 2008.

My crazy uncle sent me a present he can't afford. I'm afraid he's stealing from his kids and sending out these "stimulus packages" to everybody, but recently, there's no talking to him. Anyone trying to talk sense is suddenly an "elitist".

So what am I gonna do with the cash?

I think I'll send this guy $100. I hear he's running for president. The guy the Republicans are running looks like he's older and crazier than my crazy uncle. Crazy grandpa Republican guy thinks some of the worst ideas of the past eight years have to be continued or even worse, expanded.

We can't have that. Seriously.

I'll also throw $100 to The Smirking Chimp website. They're always begging for money, but they do publish the essays I put up when I think of a topic that doesn't go with a snazzy picture. I think I've got one for later this week.

So the rest of it, hmmm... does getting your teeth cleaned twice a year count as shopping?

I was walking back from the dentist's office to the BART station when I passed a small gas station. Regular unleaded was $4.15 (and nine tenths) a gallon, but for their "super octane", which was listed at both 93 Octane and 100 Octane (Can it be both? Free lance fact cheker Ken says yes!), they wanted $5.25 (and nine tenths) a gallon.

As I always write when I print a picture of Miss Vibrata above, Holy Shucking Fit! (Sadly, in my new version of Blogger, she doesn't seem to vibrate anymore, not even when I click on the picture. Sometimes new and improved really gets on my nerves. I should probably quit this aside. I'm starting to sound too much like Andy Rooney.)

Since it was only one stop out of my way and would only cost time and not money, I went south on BART to see what the price was at the ARCO a few blocks from where I used to live, which I know usually has the lowest gas prices in the area.

$4.09 (and nine tenths) a gallon.

Did I already mention I don't have a car right now? Yes, I think I did. A few months ago, it sounded like I was a cheap ass broke mofo. Now it sounds like I'm bragging.

So what am I going to do with the rest of the check? I'll probably blow it on something frivolous, like food and BART tickets.

How about you? Any plans for your prezzie from Our Crazy Uncle?


dguzman said...

I still haven't gotten my check from crazy-stupid Uncle Chimpy, but I have gotten THREE letters explaining how much I'll get. Think of how many BART tickets all that mailing monkey would buy.

CDP said...

The University of Maryland already has mine, in the form of tuition payments for the class I'm taking now and my next class in September.

ken said...

Actually, it can be both 93 and 100 octane, since there are at least 3 ways to score it. Look it up on Wikipedia.

- ken

Karlacita! said...

I'm gonna buy my friend another 2 days in his Iron Lung.

Won't you help?

Anonymous said...

My CPA screwed up my tax return so bad that I had to sweat it out with the IRS and ended up getting a refund, nothing to do with the rebate thing. But what I also discovered, since we talking gas prices here, I use my car for business and last year I averaged $66 a month total gas . . . this year already, . . . are you ready??? $258 a month and climbing. This is scarry.

FranIAm said...

Pay the phone bill, buy gas, food?

A dizzying array of choices!