Saturday, June 14, 2008

Best supporting giantess: the nominees are...

If you are not one of My People, you are probably not aware that there was a Golden Age of Giant Woman movies, the late 1950s through the mid 1960s. In that era, there are four major films where giantesses are the stars, as well as some giantess cameos, some stuff on TV and several commercials.

Good times.

This decade, there have been no movies all about giantesses or shrunken men, but there have been brief scenes in movies about other stuff. Here are six that have come to my attention, either through my own research or that of My People who have posted the information so that we all could share.

Bedazzled (2000)
Giantess played by: Elizabeth Hurley
Reason for giantess appearance: She's the Devil and she wants to scare him, so she takes him to Hell where she appears as a giantess in a bikini. Very short scene.
Movie in general: Cute, but clearly inferior to the Peter Cook-Dudley Moore original.

Dude, Where's My Car (2000)
Giantess played by:
Jodi Ann Patterson
Reason for giantess appearance: A gaggle of hot alien chicks turn out to be evil, and when denied what they want morph into a single Super Hot Giant Alien, who goes on a rampage at a miniature golf course. Again, scantily clad and exceedingly attractive giant woman is supposed to be scary, though there are some gags about her obvious hotness.
Movie in general: Feh. It's no Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.

Malena (2000)
Giantess played by: Monica Bellucci
Reason for giantess appearance: Young boy obsessed with Ms. Bellucci's character fantasizes that she is Cleopatra about to commit suicide, and that he is the asp she places on her breast. Why do young boys fantasize? Hypothetical question asker, I think we all know why, don't we?
Movie in general: I never saw it. It's made by the same guy who made Cinema Paradiso.

Talk to Her (2002)
Giantess played by:
Paz Vega
Reason for giantess appearance: One of the characters is explaining a silent movie he saw to another character, where Paz Vega is a scientist and her boyfriend drinks a potion she has concocted and shrinks down to tiny size and wanders over her now giant body.
Movie in general: It's the best movie on this list, though it may not be the masterwork of the director, Pedro Almodóvar.

Ella Enchanted (2004)
Giantess played by: Heidi Klum
Reason for giantess appearance: It's a story about a fairy tale world, and Ms. Klum plays a giantess who falls in love with an elf. It's a Disney movie, so falling in love means looking longingly into another person's eyes and sighing, but it's the most screen time that any giantess gets in a movie this decade. As a side note, in the Golden Age of Giant Woman movies, almost all the giant honeys were blonde. In this decade, Ms. Klum is the only blonde on this list.
Movie in general: Cute enough for an adolescent chick flick.

Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Giantess played by:
Naomie Harris
Reason for giantess appearance: Ms. Harris plays a witch named Tia Dalma, who turns out to be a sea god. She morphs into a giantess, then into a school of fish. Ms. Harris is certainly attractive, but playing a witch/hag, she gets uglied up with bad teeth and makeup that gives her dark circles around her eyes.
Movie in general: Didn't see it. My friend Jodi, who is very keen on pirate movies, liked the first Pirates a lot, but the second one... not so much.

So, that's the list of movies from The Oughts that deal with topics of interest to My People and Our Agenda. If there are others, I would be glad to amend the list.


Distributorcap said...

too many giantesses
too little time

Anonymous said...

I think it's fair to mention that there's one scene in Pirates of the Caribbean where Jack Sparrow becomes a very tiny (and multiple) hallucination of himself. When I watched that part of the movie, I wantonly decided that was my favorite part, since it pushes the Agenda from my corner of the ring.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I loved both versions of Bedazzled. Talk to Her and Malena rocked. Yay giant women!

Anonymous said...

Dude Where's My Car? giantess scene was erectifying

Buy Kamagra said...

I love Monica Bellucci, but in the moment you see Paz Vega you noticed the Spain beauty, there's not doubt about the European beauty.