Thursday, June 26, 2008

Matty Boy, Investment Advisor to the Stars* anticipates future trends!


The Chicago Cubs are the best team in baseball as of the standings today, June 26, with about half the season over. It's much too early to predict October, especially given the Cubs' long and rich history of spectacular crashes, fadeaways and slumps, but they could very easily be in the World Series.

The Boston Red Sox have already won the World Series this decade. Twice. If the Cubs should also prevail before 2010, Matty Boy, Investment Advisor to the Stars*, recommends a diversified portfolio of bottled water, ammunition and welding tools, because that would be pretty much a clear sign of the Apocalypse being just around the corner.

* Warning: Matty Boy knows no stars, unless you count Internets stars like Fred the Cat, Niblet and Red Mr. Peanut Bank. No sensible person would put their money in the hands of Matty Boy, since his is both a broke-ass mofo and probably crazy. For example, would a sane person talking about "anticipating future trends" put a picture of a book about the 1908 baseball season as a sign for having his finger on the pulse of today? No, dear readers, he would not.

Just sayin'.

10 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Since you know so much about investing John McCain would like to hire you to be on his economic team.

Karlacita! said...

Oh yes, do! Listen to the doctor!

dguzman said...

Niblet wants to know what happened to all those carrots he gave you.

Zoey & Me said...

Huh. Nobody ever talks about my lonely Washington Nationals.

CDP said...

I'm cracking up at Dguzman's comment. (and what DID you do with all those carrots?)

Matty Boy said...

dg, let Niblet know I learned a valuable lesson with those carrots.

Rule #1: Don't sell carrots short.

Today's free tip was brought to you free by Matty Boy, Investment Advisor to the Stars*.

FranIAm said...

I don't feel so good.

Mathman6293 said...

I live for the free fall of any Chicago Cubs season and it has been happening since 1909. I don't even chew Wrigley's gum.

Matty Boy said...

1909? I have to say, Mathman, you are very spry and active for your advanced years.

dguzman said...

Niblet loves you anyway. But you can't have any more of his carrots. He does have some cilantro he might be willing to part with, however....