Thursday, September 4, 2008

Governor of Alaska or Whore of Babylon?


We report, you decide.

Technically, I don't report, because I'm not a reporter. But after Sarah Palin last night proved that she had the stature equal to other great Republican elected officials like Jean Schmidt of Ohio, Michelle Bachmann of Minnesota and Katherine Harris of Florida, the news with legs is that the Divine Ms. Sarah is getting ready to be fitted with the scarlet A.

The National Enquirer, classy as always, is up in Alaska, and instead of following the story that's been all over the news, they found members of Ms. Palin's extended family who are willing to talk some serious stuff about her. Her troubles do not end with her weird state trooper brother-in-law she tried to get fired. They are printing a story that Palin had an affair with her husband's ex-business partner. Yup, yup, she's nothing but a filthy whore. I'll have to check with Padre Mickey, but I think that adultery is breaking one of the Ten Commandments or something.

The McCain camp says they are going to sue, but somebody ought to wake Grandpa and 'splain to him this is not his father's National Enquirer. In 1981, Carol Burnett sued the Enquirer for libel and won a then unprecedented $1.6 million settlement, later cut to $800,000. That got the attention of the Enquirer, and they are much more careful about their reporting now. Let's recall that they broke the John Edwards affair, they nailed Rush Limbaugh as a drug addict buying insane amounts of Oxycontin, and they scooped everybody on several stories relating to the O.J. Simpson trial.

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

As you can read in my sub-header, after digging around for about a week in the first and most obvious cesspool surrounding Caribou Barbie, I'm making a new rule. Unless there is breaking news about arrest or hospitalization, all the people under 21 in this story are out of bounds here at Lotsa 'Splainin', and I hope my blog buddies who are also following this story will take the same pledge. In these many stories involving Sarah Palin's Harper Valley P.T.A. lifestyle, there's plenty of stupid screwups and secrets and lies committed by folks who are legal age in any state of the union, so let's leave the kids alone unless they make news that makes the police blotter from this day forward.

Thank you for your support.

7 comments:

FranIAm said...

GREAT post.

I am not touching anything regarding members of her family under 21 any longer and will no longer even put the Alaskan Woman's name in my posts.

That doesn't mean I won't write about this, it just means I will do it differently.

The National Enquirer BTW has gained some modicum of respect. The truth is that they have a lot of ironclad research due to the very thing you reference.

If they are on something, it often has legs.

CDP said...

I'm with you, too. And you're exactly right about the Enquirer. They do very thorough research on the "sleazy" stories that the more dignifed newspapers don't want to touch, but once the stories are confirmed, the traditional media outlets are all over them. I'll be interested to see what happens here.

dguzman said...

"Sarah Palin's Harper Valley P.T.A. lifestyle" -- made me spit out my cornflakes.

Brilliant post, Matty Boy. Let's see if the MSM touches this story with a ten-foot pole. Is anyone taking bets?

Jess Wundrun said...

I personally loved "Caribou Barbie", but I myself tag her as Shotgun Granny Palin.

I'm not sure that I necessarily agree with you. I have posted alot about the situation with her daughter but only as regards the choices Palin has made in raising her children. OTOH, If these charming children get married, they'll have to be emancipated and as such will be treated as adults. Their choice.

But per the extra-marital affair, I'm probably going to leave it alone. Though I'll take some schadenfreude with my reisling tonight, thanks. Mostly because I don't think the affair is relevant to the reasons she thinks she'll be a great president. She never really did claim to be a great wife. But she looooooooooves to tell us what a great Christian mother role model she is.

I dunno.

Matty Boy said...

I think she does claim to be a great wife. She has a great husband and she has great kids and she did a great job as mayor and she does a great job as governor and she can do it all, and all at the same time.

Again, narcissistic personality disorder.

karenzipdrive said...

Nailed that diagnosis, Matty.
Oh and I choose Whore of Babylon from the headline choices.

Göran Koch-Swahne said...

Narcissistic personality disorder seems to be right on target, in my experience.