Thursday, September 11, 2008

It's a proud day to be a Bulgarian.


Hey, Matty Boy! Why haven't you been keeping us up to date on the goings on in the exciting world of women's international athletics?

Well, hypothetical question asker, I didn't know there was a big demand, but since you asked, here goes.

The Olympic qualifying women's ice hockey tournament is being held in Latvia, and Group A was playing their games in lovely Liepaja. While most of the world was not paying that much attention, it became worldwide news when the Slovakia beat Bulgaria by a score of 82-0.

For those of you unaware of the rules of ice hockey, the game is 60 minutes long. This is more than one goal a minute.

Bulgaria lost all its games in Group A. The Italians beat them 41-0, host country Latvia were rather rude to whip them 39-0, and Croatia narrowly escaped with a win by the score of 30-1.

The Croatians let the Bulgarians score? Does this mean they suck, too?

Good guess, hypothetical! The Croatians lost by scores of 9-0 to Latvia, 8-0 to Italy and 18-1 to the Slovaks. These would be stunning shameful routs if the Bulgarians hadn't been so jaw droppingly awful.

It does give as a new simile, though.

Blind as a Bulgarian goalie.

It has a nice ring to it, especially with the double alliteration.

4 comments:

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Holy crap, that's bad. I can't even skate, and I reckon I do better.

sfmike said...

That's a fabulous score and a fabulous simile. I was on a gay softball team for a couple of years that was delusional about its own abilities, and we won one game in two years, making us something like 1-43. Still, it was a great time in its own way.

I want to hear who the Bulgarians actually were. Maybe they were a bunch of girlfriends of some promoter who had never played ice hockey before, and who simply wanted a free trip to Latvia. These are the details enquiring readers need to know.

namastenancy said...

Better watch it, Math Guy! The Society for the Prevention of Remarks about Bulgarian Goalies will be after you. Next thing you know, you'll be making remarks about lipstick on goalies.

Matty Boy said...

Mike, I found a Bulgarian internet site in English, and they claim there are about 37 registered female hockey players in the entire country. A full team probably needs about twenty players, counting the people on the bench, and in most games everybody but the back-up goalie plays some minutes.

I like your idea about it being the promoters' harem better, but being part of the reality-based community, I have to go with what I read on a semi-authoritative blog.