Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The wheels on the bus go off and off...

10 days ago, the fundamentals of the economy were strong, according to John McCain. Now, his handlers say if the bailout isn't made law by Monday, five days from now, we may be in another Great Depression.

Wow, that's a dramatic two weeks!

So now McCain must suspend his campaign, because this problem is too serious and we might all be wearing barrels by Halloween. Oh yeah, there's supposed to be a debate on Friday. No time, whoopsie!

Honestly, is this how he thinks you talk to adults?

Senator, a presidential election is a serious thing, too, though it doesn't seem like a serious thing the way you do it. We would kind of like it if the next president could actually multi-task, because the crises happen when they happen, and you can't just call for a time out because this is a REALLY BIG CRISIS.

Remember, another big crisis that demanded instant action gave us the Patriot Act.

Why is it so big? Because you say so? Look, we've seen really big crises in the past few years, and I for one am not taking your word on this one. 9/11 was a crisis. Katrina was a crisis. We saw your party's response to both and frankly, we weren't impressed. But now, everything has to come to a halt.

To hell with you. Be a man and tell us why you should be president. If you can't handle that, be a man and send Sarah Palin out to really campaign, to answer questions from the press and audiences that aren't hand picked. Have her really say something, not the same tired old lies from her acceptance speech or the handful of phrases she repeats like she was a parrot.

Laura Bush says Caribou Barbie doesn't know crap about foreign policy, but I'm sure that just because old Crazy Eyes is used to dealing with girl geniuses like Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and Harriet Myers.

The economy has many problems, though you and your Republican pals were reluctant to see that for most of this year. I don't trust you people to fix this, and even if this bailout fixes this part of the problem, it makes the problem of debt in this country, both public and private, even worse.

Yay, Flags of many lands™! Yay, Namibia!

It may only be Padre Mickey who will get this reference, since I'm a weird old geezer, but I cannot hear the name of the nation of Namibia without wondering, "Do they have enough fondue pots? How are they fixed for the forks?"


FranIAm said...

OK, I am almost your age. What gives with the forks?

Matty Boy said...

Fran, it's the entire phrase "weird old geezer" that is relevant here. It's a reference to a skit on SNL that starred Garrett Morriss.

Karlacita! said...

Namibia needs more fondue pots!

And we need leaders who are.

Matty Boy said...

We need leaders who are fondue pots?

Okay, now I'm confused.

CDP said...

Matty, when will you stop attacking the American worker, who is the finest in the world, and who is the "fundamental" that remains so "strong".

Anonymous said...

My brain must be fried. Fondue? Oh, wait. Okay. McCain's "suspend my campaign" stunt was pretty cheesey.

dguzman said...

Now what excuse is he gonna use to put off the debate? The Dems caved yet again!