This blog is still alive, just in semi-hibernation.
When I want to write something longer than a tweet about something other than math or sci-fi, here is where I'll write it.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The answer to my prayers!

Money's a little tight for me right now, and finding extra work could be a problem in this economy, so think of how incredibly fortunate I am that I got this e-mail, not in my spam folder but in the good old regular e-mail inbox.

CONGRATULATIONS

Dear Winner,Your Email Id have won you $1,000,000,00USD in the Microsoft Global Lottery held on the 15th October 2008.
For claims contact our fiduciary agent Rev Greg Thompson with your contact information:

FULL NAME:
FULL CONTACT ADDRESS:
TELEPHONE:
AGE:
OCCUPATION:


Regard's
Miss Susan Smith
Copyright © microsoft 2008.

Program Warning!!! Fraudulent emails are circulating that appears to be
impersonator using our names and addresses, but are not from the
MICROSOFT LOTTERY ONLINE PROGRAM PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO CUSTOMER CARE/COMPLAINTS DEPT:

My favorite parts of this message, other than the fact that I now have $1,000,000,00USD that I didn't have yesterday, are that Miss Susan Smith sends her "Regard's" and that the fiduciary agent for the Microsoft Lottery is the REVEREND Greg Thompson. I mean, if the guy running the Microsoft Lottery is a reverend, it must be on the up and up.

The e-mail comes not from Washington state, but from the University of Indonesia. Well, that makes sense. I mean, leave it to Microsoft to outsource their lottery department, right? And you wouldn't want to advertise that you have a lottery department, would you? You might get a lot of unwanted e-mails, both from desperate job seekers and possibly fraudulent entities offering you untold wealth for no work at all.

When the check arrives, I promise to show y'all an electronic facsimile of it. Until such time, I'll probably put off shopping for the Lexus.

11 comments:

FranIAm said...

Now wait one goldarn minute - that's my money. Susan Smith and Rev. Thompson sent it to ME! Well they are sending it, I gave them my bank account (pity for them- nothing in it)number and my social security number and all kinds of personal stuff.

Matty Boy said...

Fran, you won too? Mazel tov! Or should I say, Regard's!

I think I'll probably need a whole new set of friends when I'm rolling in the cash, but I'm glad I'll be able to keep a few of the folks I've met along the way.

Provided that they are stinking rich as well, of course.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

There's University of Indonesia? Who is their big rival? Singapore State?

CDP said...

Congratulations! I myself took advantage of an offer from an orphaned Nigerian woman and helped her claim the vast inheritance left by her murdered parents. For this service, I stand to receive 5 million dollars; it should be wired to my bank account any day now. Yay us!

Sorghum Crow said...

Brother, can you spare a paradigm?

namastenancy said...

When you get the money, I've got a bridge to sell you. Only slightly used.

Zoey & Me said...

I'm holding five winning letters, four from Africa that I haven't even had the time to claim yet. I guess we are all in the money. YAY!

Matty Boy said...

Oh, z&m, I feel so bad that I'm the one who has to tell you... the African ones are scams. But best of luck with the other one!

afeatheradrift said...

Boy, I'm not the only lucky one it seems. Dozens of people in africa will do what my banker won't! They always want to transfer millions of dollars into my account because I am so trustworthy. But so far, I've only won about 5 lotteries. All of them in countries far and wide. I keep checking, but the bank never says they have received the funds. Funny wouldn't you say?

Distributorcap said...

you realize by the time you get that money it will buy a loaf of bread

Lulu Maude said...

Never take money from someone signing himself Rev.

He'll make you do terrible things for it.