Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Listening, but not watching

So I was listening last night to the debate, but not watching. I was multi-tasking. I'm a multi-tasking kind of guy. I was working on my new blog, The Unified Football Theory, putting in lots of hours into a project that is still trying to find an audience. Now I know how no_slappz must feel, slaving away at a blog that nobody reads. Of course, I've been at it two and a half months and he's been at it a year, but still, I know how he feels.

He feels like a loser. So few people read his stuff, he feels compelled to go someplace where his comments will be read by more people in one day than will read his blog in a month.

But like I said, I've been at it two and a half months. Lotsa 'Splainin' 2 Do took some time to get off the ground, too. So I'll keep with it over at the football blog. That's how I roll.

So I'm listening and I get this impression.

John McCain knows a lot.

He knows how to win wars, though we kinda lost the one he fought in.

He knows how to fix Social Security. He'll fix it by screwing people like me who have paid into it for our entire working lives.

He knows how to find Bin Laden, though he's been keeping it a secret from George W. Bush because... well, because screw that guy! I mean, remember what Bush did to McCain in 2000? Apparently, Cindy McCain doesn't remember because she thinks Barack Obama is running the dirtiest campaign in American history.

When you've done as many drugs as Cindy has done, the memory is the first thing to go.

Yes, John McCain knows a lot of stuff, and he knows a lot of folks, too. Look at the maverick having fun with his pals, Lieberman, Graham, Walnuts his own bad self and Gramm. Mavericky mavericks each and every one!

You think Sarah Palin will be invited to one of these little gabfests? Aw, hellz no, as we say in Oakland. Sometimes you want to be with your boyz, and these are them. You just want to get away from the distractions (read: bitchez) and chill with the peeps who have been there since back in the day.

I heard McCain say Warren Buffett might be his Secretary of the Treasury.

Caucasian, PLEASE!

Phil Gramm would have a much bigger voice on the economic policy in the unlikely event of a McCain Administration than Buffett ever would.

Yay, Flags of Many Lands!
Yay, Lao People's Democratic People's Republic!

What would somebody from a dirty commie country want on this blog? A country turned dirty commie when McCain and his honorable comrades in arms failed miserably to win a war war back when Matty Boy was a pup?

They were looking for pictures of the Politburo.

McCain and his pals look like they have a lot more fun than these miserable bastids.

I'd bet my share of the national debt Leonid Brezhnev never said, "Fuck it! Let's blow this pop stand, fly up to Atlantic City and shoot some craps!"


CDP said...

Now I'm going to say "Caucasian, PLEASE" all the time.

Matty Boy said...

In the interest of full disclosure, let me say I stole "Caucasian, PLEASE!" from Larry David.

DCup said...

I'm going to call CDP just so she can say "Caucasian PLEASE" to me.

Really? If John McCain knows how to capture Bin Laden, isn't it the height of depravity for him to keep that to himself?

dguzman said...

I think he keeps that Bin Laden, SS-solvin', and war-winnin' knowledge right where he keeps his head: up GW's ass. For all the good it does there.

Matty Boy said...

I have to say that I love that picture I found of McCain and his pals. The tilted angle makes me think they are villains planning a heist and Adam West and Burt Ward are mere minutes away from breaking in and bustin' these bastids up BAD!

Ed said...

Just so's ya knows, I've visited your Unified Football Theory blog a number of times and, I'm sorry to say, I look at all those numbers and find myself totally confused. (The fact that the Mighty Pack now seems to be in something of a slump also has caused me to avoid thinking about football in general.) I'm not exactly mathematically challenged, but I don't get a lot of practice these days, either. I just don't know how to interpret all those numbers. Or maybe you explained it all somewhere on the blog and I missed it, in which case I blame it on the ADD.

So, if McCain actually, knows how to catch Bin Laden and hasn't shared that information with Dubya, can he be tried for treason?

Matty Boy said...

Ed, thanks for the comment. I've worked with the system so much, I didn't do a good job of 'splainin' it. I added another post to the 'splainin' the system section, where I break down how the scores are credited to the different squads by example in a game where the Titans beat the Raven 13-10, and the difference was a field goal where the scrimmage defense gets credit for 2 out of 3 points by giving the offense the ball inside the 20. If you have time, give the post a read and let me know if it makes sense.

Thanks for the input.