Monday, October 20, 2008

Obama's good luck charm is on the ballot!

Having completed my absentee ballot in California yesterday, I can let non-Californians know that Alan Keyes, crazy fringe guy and perennial presidential candidate, is on the ballot in the Golden State, running for president on the slate of America's Independent Party, a splinter group of the American Independent Party, George Wallace's old political organization. He wanted to be the standard bearer for the Constitution Party, but the founder of that party considered Keyes a Johnny-come-lately and carpetbagger, so he settled for the AIP instead. He also made the ballot in Colorado and Florida. We can only hope this means good luck for Obama in those states as well.

The picture here is an example of the photoshopping skills of Princess Sparkle Pony, putting the eyes and mouth from the Nauga Beast on Mr. Keyes because, well, Mr. Keyes is crazy.

Mr. Keyes was the Republican standard bearer for senate in Illinois in 2004 when Barack Obama ran for the U.S. Senate and won handily. Mr. Keyes is actually a citizen of Maryland, but the Illinois Republicans were in a bit of a pickle, and brought him in at short notice.

The pickle was that the original Republican candidate, the bright and personable Jack Ryan, decided to withdraw from the race after the records of his custody proceedings from his divorce from the incredibly hot actress Jeri Ryan were made public. It seems Jack liked to take Jeri to sex clubs with the idea that they should have sex in a public place, maybe with a third very hot person, and Jeri... not so much.

Jack Ryan was personally outraged that these records became public and was horrified at the pain they caused his young son when he found out. Yes, sons experience horrible pain not when Dad IS a scumbag, but when they find out Dad is a scumbag.

So, best of luck to Senator Obama in the upcoming campaign, and here's hoping the special Alan Keyes magic can help him in California, Colorado and Florida especially.


karenzipdrive said...

Good going, Matty Boy.
Voting early is a great idea. The lines on Nov. 4 will be very, very long.

Matty Boy said...

Hey, kz! I voted by mail, but some states had actual precincts open this weekend, and there were already long lines.

Knock wood that high voter turnout works to Obama's advantage, as nearly everyone thinks it will.

dguzman said...

Wow, I didn't know that about the ex-Ryans. What a typical douchebag.

You know, I'm thinking about taking election day off. I want to spend it in a bar or the local Dem HQ, just watching the news reports and taking people to the polls etc.