Saturday, October 25, 2008

Three reasons I'm not switching sides.

I don't agree with everything I read on left wing blogs, but then I go to right wing blogs occasionally, and I realize there's no chance I'm hanging out with these pinheads.

I googled "Intrade Market Odds", and the fourth link is to a page from the Free Republic website. Obama had been leading on the market based (read:gambling) site for some time during the summer, but on September 8, McCain's stock crept up over 50%, and Obama's went under the halfway point.

Go and read what these geniuses had to say. You know how I say "Don't celebrate early"? I really don't have to repeat it, but I do because I'm a teacher and repetition is an important tool of pedagogy. These idiots are unteachable. They are actually talking about buying champagne and their unstoppable momentum on September 8!


I put in the last comment on this thread using the screen name NChooseK, and since I went to the trouble of becoming a member, I decided to write a post using a theme I used earlier this week here, speculating if Sarah Palin's popularity in Alaska has anything to do with the bigger free check the Alaska Permanent Fund gave every Alaskan in 2008. I titled it "Is Sarah Palin the most popular socialist governor in the U.S.?"

They banned me, the useless turds. So much for the right wing version of the free exchange of ideas.

The news from the polls has been generally good, but people on the left are still crazy nervous. Larry David, quoted over on FranIAm, says it's like waiting for the results of a biopsy. Any time a national poll shows that race is within a point or two, some parts of the press scream it loud, and liberals start getting their stomach in knots. Really, if you take a look at all the national polls in a day, and even math crazy Matty Boy thinks there are WAY too many tracking polls, the median polls have said the same thing for some time now. Obama's lead nationally is about six or seven points in the median polls.

Of course the national numbers are meaningless, as everybody learned in 2000.

Oh, no, it's going to be stolen!

You know, maybe not. Sometimes the Republicans just run a bad campaign. Here's a link to the still live Dole-Kemp '96 website. Do you remember this campaign? Do you remember "Where's the outrage?" Dole got his panties in a bunch because Gore went to a fund raiser at a Buddhist temple.

Do you remember when we were supposed to be afraid of Buddhists, for Lenny's sake?

It was a kinder, gentler time.

While I think the folks at Free Republic are pinheads and scumbags, I don't really hate Bob Dole, I just disagree with him. This next guy, David Zucker, is a different story. I used to actually admire him, and he's fallen such a long, long way.

Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker were the creative team behind Airplane!, a movie that was completely unlike any movie made before it. The Marx Brothers made manic zany films, Woody Allen did the same with What's Up, Tiger Lily?, but Airplane! raised the stakes to new heights. A gag a minute was too slow, so they brought it up to five gags a minute, and it worked. They used the same format in the spy spoof Top Secret, and it is also very funny. Just to show they could make a funny movie where people actually followed something like the rules of logic, Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker are also the talent behind Ruthless People, one of the best comedies of the past thirty years, a brilliant re-working of O. Henry's The Ransom of Red Chief.

Then David Zucker's talent and reputation fell off a cliff. He wrote, produced and directed the truly awful BASEketball. He directed My Boss' Daughter, Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4.

Seeing this guy make unfunny crap would be sad enough, but now he decided to make unfunny crap right wing propaganda as writer, director and producer. He got some studio to give him $20 million to make An American Carol, a movie that skewers a character obviously based on Michael Moore. The premise is left wing filmmaker wants to ban the Fourth of July, so he is visited by ghosts, like Dickens did to Scrooge.

And this movie died.

It had the advantage of a major release, over 1,600 theaters nationwide, and nobody went to see it. After two weeks, that fell to about 600 theaters. As of Thursday, it's playing at 109 theaters across the country, and drawing truly pathetic per screen numbers. It hasn't made $7 million yet, and the rule of thumb in Hollywood used to be that a movie needed to make about three times the production cost to break even.

To give you an idea of what a miserable failure David Zucker has become, Michael Moore spent about $20 million to make three films, and those three films grossed $165 million total.

David, do you notice that red back lighting in your picture? Those are the flames of hell, dude. The good news is that they haven't engulfed you. This is simple advice from a fan, the same advice the aliens gave Woody Allen's character in Stardust Memories.

You want to improve the human condition? Make funnier films.

And leave the polemics to someone with more taste and talent. You're out of your league.


Distributorcap said...

ruthless people and airplane are two of the funniest movies ever made -- i can watch RP a million times just for bette's performance - and for judge's

how disappointed was i when i found out zucker was a right wing looney (how many jews are right wing looneys - dont answer that!)

wingnuts are not funny - at least not intentionally.

Matty Boy said...

"I've been kidnapped by K-Mart!" is a fantastic line, and Midler's reading of it makes it twenty times funnier. And like any red blooded male, I desperately wanted to have sex with Anita Morris, who was also pretty darned funny herself.

To think about the guy responsible for that making BASEketball is just sadder than sad, and as for An American Carol, words fail me.

Actors' political views I can take or leave, but I have more respect for writers. When they turn out to be pinheads, it's more disappointing.

FranIAm said...

Oh I agree about the Zucker films of the past.

This horseshit was doomed from the get-go... I mean, an American Carol? Please. The title alone is a killer.

Thanks for the linkage dearest Matty.

DCup said...

I'm through wringing my hands over this election. Yesterday, on CNN Rick Sanchez and some other dude whose name escapes me now were talking about how easily McCain could still win with Pennsylvania. It was then that I decided that the media is desperate to make this race appear close. They need a tight race.

Matty Boy said...

You are wise beyond your years, dear DCup, though not beyond your cup size. ;^]