Sunday, November 23, 2008

Do gigantic child girlfriends count?

Given the mockery that the modern institution of marriage has become, what with how fickle and untrustworthy heterosexuals have shown themselves to be, I suppose it will have to do, hypothetical question asker, though a traditional person such as myself will shake my head and make that little clicking sound with my tongue.

You know, tsk tsk tsk.

The gentleman on the left is Pharrell Williams, musician and producer. His lovely escort is Karolina Kurkova, lingerie model. He is 35 and she is 24. He is 5'8" (1m73) and she is 5'11" (1m80), though if she takes off all the clothes she wears and stands on them, she's 5'11 1/4" (1m81).

Pharrell has worked with many artists, including Snoop Dogg, Nelly, Kelis, Gwen Stefani, Madonna, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Dame Joan Sutherland. (I made one of those up.)

Ms. Kurkova is famous for having almost no belly button, leading to speculation she was raised on one of the supermodel factory farms that are rumored to exist in Eastern Europe, just another cog in the machine that will bring about worldwide Communist domination.

But, Matty Boy! Didn't we, like, defeat communism about twenty years ago?

That's just what they want you to think, hypothetical. That's how those devious bastids roll.


Anonymous said...

Why yes, I believe gigantic girls do count. They just don't have belly buttons.

Undersquid said...

Yes, I think they count. I think lovely gigantic women on whom shorter and older men have crushes count too.

What I didn't know is that if you are a lingerie model that means you have to wear lingerie / lingerie-like garments all the time.

Or maybe those are regular sized clothes that just look that way on her because she's so gigantic. The world may never know.

Her belly button afears me only because it seems to be located a little too much to the right, which can only mean she had to share an umbilical cord with many other commie model fetii.

dguzman said...

She is yummy, but that belly button---gaaaah!