Saturday, November 15, 2008

How can we miss you when you won't go away?

For the record, I would like to say I made this lolz of Sarah Palin within 24 hours of her introduction to a breathless world.

Just as I am not the only person to consider Bush the Lesser to be the worst president in living memory, a consensus is growing that John McCain ran the worst presidential campaign since the invention of the TV, its myriad faults made obvious not just by the TV but also by those new fangled Internets. McCain's people derided Obama as a celebrity and inexperienced, but somehow they convinced themselves that those were in fact his strong points, and went out and put someone in the second slot who would be much more of a celebrity and much less experienced.

They didn't lose in spite of Palin. They lost because of Palin. She was great for 24 hours. She was strong for a week. But the tide turned, and she turned out to be the siren who lured the Republicans to the rocks.

Some of the idiots on board think they've landed in Tahiti and want to stay. Best of luck to them.

She's had a passel of interviews since the election, and the Republican governors had their meeting so she was in the public eye yet again, but as the votes get tallied, it looks likely that Mark Begich will beat the felon Ted Stevens for senator, and the only chance Sarah Palin has to get out of Seward's Icebox, which would be to run for senator and win, is quickly slipping away.

A lot of people look at the losing V.P. candidates and call her career dead on arrival, but Barry Goldwater's running mate William Miller is not the only template. The loser in 1968 was Edmund Muskie, and he still had a career. In 1972, it's Thomas Eagleton and Sargent Shriver, who faded away. In 1976, it's Bob Dole. Mondale lost in 1980, and was the losing standard bearer in 1984. Geraldine Ferraro did become a trivia answer. 1988's losing V.P. candidate Lloyd Bentsen never gained traction. Quayle in 1992 is a post script now. Likewise Jack Kemp in 1996, who may be the most competent Republican on this list. We wish the 2000 loser Joe Lieberman was a nobody, but sadly he's not. John Edwards' career was finished by his penis, not by his association with John Kerry.

Being a losing V.P. candidate who was never V.P. isn't complete death, but without a senate seat, it's pretty damn miserable.

So Sarah Palin may be in the mix in 2012. As a Democrat, I hope she's the standard bearer, though I highly doubt it. I don't think she'll get through a long primary fight, what with her knocked up daughter and traitor husband and socialist check writing policies in Alaska and her general rock f*#king stupidity. Some of the losers in the Republican party think they just have to double down on the hate, but the middle of the spectrum isn't with them anymore. Of course that can change in four years, but they better realize that Barack Obama is a better politician than Bill Clinton, and Clinton kicked their asses twice. If I were comparing politicians to baseball players, I'd say Clinton is at the level of Pete Rose or Mike Schmidt, and Obama is somewhere at the level of Willie Mays or Hank Aaron. A party in disarray doesn't stand a chance against this guy.

Speaking of disarray, let's talk Joe the Plumber, shall we? I love this picture from the New York Times, because it's at just the right distance and we have a dog in the frame sniffing the long lens camera. Imagine the dog's disappointment at not smelling the hoped for smells.

This guy thinks he's going to cash in on the circus, but he's more likely being left just to clean up after the elephant. As reported at Princess Sparkle Pony's wonderful blog, his book will be published by Pearlgate Publishing, a vanity press that has published one book, the author of said book acting as Joe's ghost writer. The book will be released on December 1, as in two weeks from next Monday.

Just in time for the holidays! It's the perfect stocking stuffer/gag gift, especially if you have already given the lonely wingnut single male relative on your list an inflatable sheep last Christmas.

These people may be with us for some time to come, but for my money, they seem a lot more like Andrew Ridgeley than they do like George Michael.

Just sayin'.


Distributorcap said...

what a great post -- i laughed my ass off ---

i am going out and buying as many Joe the Plumber books - from the $1 table - cuz that is what AMurica is all about.

palin is through - a footnote. she just doesnt know it yet, the Rep govs do, the american public does. only she and rich lowry and a bunch of horny old media men ....

general rock f*#king stupidity


Matty Boy said...

D-Cap, don't sneer at horny old men. They are the center of the engine of capitalism in this country, the carburetor, or... the distributor cap of the engine, if you will.

Jess Wundrun said...

I bear in mind the analogy

Rudy Giuliani:2008::Sarah Palin:2012.

Four years ago everyone thought Rudy G, the one trick pony, was a shoo-in too.

Anonymous said...

I think that Palin is basking in the glow of celebrity, but she's going to find Alaska damned chilly when the warmth of the spotlight fades.

Anonymous said...

Loved this post from start to finish. Ya know, she could be Doherty. I'm enjoying her little fame game with all the fluff interviews. How does that woman make baby formula? Inquiring minds and all that jazz. It's gonna be a bumpy ride in on the elephant this go round. Buckle up!

dguzman said...

Brilliant post, Matty. You're at the peak of your powers! Long may you stay there!