Monday, January 12, 2009

The Google giveth and the Google taketh away.

In December 2007, viewership here at Lotsa 'Splainin' effectively doubled, though not through any particular change in what I did. What happened instead was that Google decided to put my blog up near the top of several searches for images. When people wanted pictures of lolzcats or Eli and Peyton Manning or Alyssa Milano or tuataras, Google recommended a stop over at Lotsa 'Splainin', though I might not have many pictures of these things. For example, asking for lolz gave more pictures from my blog than from I Can Has Cheezburger, which I will be the first to admit is just plain wrong. Even though I actually make many of the lolz that now show up on my blog, I use the free software that Cheezburger graciously provides.

In December 2008, this blog fell out of favor with the Google as a place to go for images, and viewership went down. Again, I never planned to make this a blog about Alyssa Milano or tuataras, so the lack of folks looking for them doesn't bother me that much.

Well, fair is fair, but in one case, I must protest to the gods of Google. If you type Indira Varma, and search for images, this blog is nowhere to be found. That is just plain wrong. When I started this blog, and I couldn't think of anything to write, I found a picture of Indira Varma and published it. I bow to no man, yea verily I bow to no monkey either, in my place among the worshipers of Ms. Varma's lovely collarbone, and the rest of the loveliness attached to it. As proof, I give you this picture of Ms. Varma and her Rome co-star Kevin Kidd, who I suppose is pretty enough in his own right, to show that my obsessive compulsion with her has not swayed or wavered.

Gods of Google, I beseech thee! Hook a brother up! She even has her own label here, for pity's sake.


Undersquid said...

The Google gods are fickle, but also strange. I looked for images of "Undersquid", and the three first results are actually images found on my blog, but the following fifteen (including a picture of you!) or so can be found HERE, on your blog.

Gods of Google, I say to thee: WTF?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It's true! I am nowhere to be seenin searches for Indira Varma pics either. And i am on the bottom of the second page when it comes to searching for Archie Panjabi pics. It's a travesty of a sham! It's an outrage of a mockery! I demand justice.

CDP said...

That is totally wrong, dude. I didn't know who Ms. Varma was until I saw her picture at Lotsa Splainin'.

dguzman said...

What CDP said. I think teh Google is broked.

namastenancy said...

teh Google is an unequal opportunity mentioner of photos of Indira Varma and unfair to Matty Boy. Let's protest!

Lisa said...

The Google is jealous of Matty Boy's good looks and sparkling wit.

Matty Boy said...

Thank you to all who came to my defense. Like Dr. Monkey, I checked page after page of images of Ms. Varma, over 100 images in total, and not one mention of my blog.

But will the Obama administration investigate? Oh, no, they are looking to the future, not the past!

I shake my fist at the injustice!

FranIAm said...

WHOA! I would not even know about Varma if not for you.

This is just wrong. This won't stand!