Saturday, February 14, 2009

Share it with someone you love.

Happy Valentine's Day from the management here at Lotsa 'Splainin' 2 Do. Here's hoping you and your special someone have a lovely day together. Matty Boy has been out of the game for some time now, though Hypothetical Question Asker seems to be in a committed relationship. Unfortunately, when I try to find out details, all he will say is "What's it to you?" or "You writing a book?"

It can be a challenge working with him sometimes.

Some enterprising entrepreneur decided that what this holiday needed was the pairing of everyone's favorite politically active, openly gay television news host Rachel Maddow with the graphic design found in examples of Japanese cuteness, best exemplified by Hello, Kitty.

I love the sentiment, but cartoon Rachel should get someone to help her with color coordination. Pink lips, gray jacket, maroon-brown pants and blue shoes. C'mon honey, something's gotta match! I suppose the dark gray blouse that shows a little near the neckline kind of matches the light gray jacket.

In science news, there is evidence that I may have to expand My People and Our Agenda to My Mammals and Our Agenda. While gender specific size differential is common among critters, usually it is the males that are larger than the females. There are some notable exceptions, especially among invertebrates, but among the mammals, not so much. One such exception among the warm blooded is among the humpback whales, where females are much larger than males.

So what do humpback males like in humpback females? Super size, baby, they like the big girls!

Humpbacks split their time between Alaska, where plankton is super abundant, and Hawaii, where it's like a cetacean Girls Gone Wild video. I can imagine male humpbacks singing to one another on the long swim south.

"Hey, man, check out the length and width on that one."

"Oh, yeah, that's a ride I wanna go on."

"Yeah, buddy, but not if I beat you to it, 'cuz I can sing, son. The ladies luuuuuuuv the guys with the pipes."

"You call that singing? I love you like a brother, probably because we have the same mom, but your voice is just sad. Check this out. 'Look at me, I'm as helpless as a wounded manatee...'."

"You callin' me sad? Now that was sad. We're not talkin' about it anymore, but I promise you. I don't know what guppy you're gonna hook up with, but I'll bet you two mouthfuls of krill my girlfriend will be able to beat up your girlfriend."

"Now you're just jealous. It's like sadder than sad."

(Long silence ensues.)

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