Here are a couple of humorous anecdotes that will take some 'splainin' for the young people to understand them.
There used to be things called newspapers and people called publicists. The idea was that for famous people to remain famous, they should have their names published in the newspapers from time to time so the public would remember them, and that's why they hired publicists. The publicist would feed the newspapers stories about the famous, interesting things they said and did, and the papers would print them.
Some of these stories might even be true. Here are a few that I read in Herb Caen's column many moons ago in the San Francisco Chronicle, a newspaper that still exists, but no one is sure for how long. I liked these so much, I remembered them for decades and I hope against hope that each of them is true.
The first story goes that Michael Dunn meets Julie Newmar at a party. For the benefit of the young people, Michael Dunn was a successful little person actor, most famous for playing the arch-villain Dr. Loveless on the TV series The Wild, Wild West. Miss Newmar is one of several actresses who played Catwoman on the Batman TV series, her name still spoken in hushed and reverential tones by My People as the quintessential combination of tallness and va-va-voominess in Hollywood history.
Mr. Dunn, overcome by the towering beauty in front of him, speaks an obvious truth. "I would love to ravage you." he says.
Miss Newmar, looking down crossly, wags her long and lovely finger at the little man and replies: "If you do and I ever find out...!"
Lucie Arnaz, daughter of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, is in San Francisco performing in a play at around the time that the movie Mommie Dearest is being transformed from just another bad Faye Dunaway flick to a beloved camp classic. Ms. Arnaz, doing the tourist thing, finds herself in a shop that sells t-shirts down on Fisherman's Wharf. A slogan on one shirt catches Ms. Arnaz's eye.
Sure, mom was a bitch, but I ain't writing a book about it!
Ms. Arnaz buys six, including two in her brother Desi Jr.'s size.
Are either of these stories actually true? Well, hypothetical question asker, it is pretty to think so, isn't it?