Monday, March 2, 2009

But that wishing makes it so.

Here are a couple of humorous anecdotes that will take some 'splainin' for the young people to understand them.

There used to be things called newspapers and people called publicists. The idea was that for famous people to remain famous, they should have their names published in the newspapers from time to time so the public would remember them, and that's why they hired publicists. The publicist would feed the newspapers stories about the famous, interesting things they said and did, and the papers would print them.

Some of these stories might even be true. Here are a few that I read in Herb Caen's column many moons ago in the San Francisco Chronicle, a newspaper that still exists, but no one is sure for how long. I liked these so much, I remembered them for decades and I hope against hope that each of them is true.

The first story goes that Michael Dunn meets Julie Newmar at a party. For the benefit of the young people, Michael Dunn was a successful little person actor, most famous for playing the arch-villain Dr. Loveless on the TV series The Wild, Wild West. Miss Newmar is one of several actresses who played Catwoman on the Batman TV series, her name still spoken in hushed and reverential tones by My People as the quintessential combination of tallness and va-va-voominess in Hollywood history.

Mr. Dunn, overcome by the towering beauty in front of him, speaks an obvious truth. "I would love to ravage you." he says.

Miss Newmar, looking down crossly, wags her long and lovely finger at the little man and replies: "If you do and I ever find out...!"

Lucie Arnaz, daughter of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, is in San Francisco performing in a play at around the time that the movie Mommie Dearest is being transformed from just another bad Faye Dunaway flick to a beloved camp classic. Ms. Arnaz, doing the tourist thing, finds herself in a shop that sells t-shirts down on Fisherman's Wharf. A slogan on one shirt catches Ms. Arnaz's eye.

Sure, mom was a bitch, but I ain't writing a book about it!

Ms. Arnaz buys six, including two in her brother Desi Jr.'s size.

Are either of these stories actually true? Well, hypothetical question asker, it is pretty to think so, isn't it?


CDP said...

Ha ha! Julie Newmar's remark was also credited to Judy Garland. As the (maybe apocryphal) story goes, one of the Munchkin actors kept making lewd comments to Ms. Garland. One day, he told her in graphic terms what he'd like to do to her, and she apparently replied "well if you do, and I find out about it, there will be trouble for you, mister!"

Karen Zipdrive said...

Mmmm Julie Newmar.

Matty Boy said...

CDP: The story sounds completely apocryphal to me regardless of what actress is being hit upon by what little person. This was a not very elaborate ruse to post a picture of Julie Newmar.

Karen: There are more m's in the sentence "Mmmmmmmmmmm Julie Newmar."

In fact, an infinite number of m's may not be enough.

namastenancy said...

Any ruse to post a photo of Julie Newman is fine by me. That's one fine figure of a woman - back when women had figures and weren't bobble-headed sticks.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Mmmmmmmmmmm X 1,000,000.
Is she still alive?

Matty Boy said...

Yes, Ms. Newmar is still alive. She turns 76 this year. The picture I chose is a cheesecake shot taken before I was born. The hourglass effect is probably due to undergarments not conducive to breathing, but the legs... those are real.

Stunningly, heartstoppingly real.