Thursday, May 7, 2009

Absinthe only education.


I want to make clear that I am against this new idea being put forward in some quarters of absinthe only education.

Absinthe contains the essence of wormwood, which in high concentrations is known to produce hallucinations. Some might think that the situation is like tequila being made from mezcal cactus, but that is just a confusion of words. Mescaline is the drug distilled from peyote buttons, and has nothing to do with the mezcal cactus.

The real problem with absinthe only education is not the trace elements of a hallucinogen, but the other psychoactive compound found in the drink.

Alcohol.

As you can see in the picture, absinthe is 70% alcohol by volume. For those of you reading this under the influence of absinthe, or just those having trouble with math, 70 x 2 = 140, so this is a 140 proof spirit. Most hard liquor is between 70 and 90 proof, so a drink of absinthe is like two drinks of rum or vodka or whiskey. Alcohol's effects are a combination of dosage and how quickly that dosage is ingested. With absinthe, liquor is quicker than you probably expect.

That first drink of absinthe can impair the imbiber's judgment, so much so that a second drink of absinthe seems like a good idea. From there, bad ideas multiply, and soon enough, if not too impaired to operate the equipment, unprotected sex with strangers seems like the thing to do, and we know where that leads.

So to reiterate. Absinthe only is not a good idea. Combined with hormones, the results can be disastrous. Always use protection.

7 comments:

CDP said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!

That was high-larious.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I suppose you are agianst sax on television as well. Harrrummmph!

dguzman said...

Besides, it tastes yucky!

Karlacita! said...

I'm totally against sex on TV.

I keep falling off!

dguzman said...

Thank you, folks, Karlacita! will be here all week! Let's hear another round of applause for her!

Karen Zipdrive said...

I also have an issue with violins on television.
(rimshot)
Having been on the business end of a bottle of absinthe, I can tell you it's not a toy.

How funny- the verification word was dialesis, which is close to dialysis, which is close to what you'll need after too much absinthe.

Lisa said...

Oh! Absinthe! I thought they were saying, oh nevermind, that idea would be too silly.