Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dominating the Dojo™

There is a new search engine in town, by Microsoft. If you use Internet Explorer to search the web (and if you do, please don't tell me, I'll just think less of you), is now your default search engine.

This blog is currently a virgin. On my website stats, I haven't seen anyone find this corner of the internet using bing. I went there and typed in some phrases that should at least give a pointer to Lotsa 'Splainin' 2 Do, but is blissfully unaware that I exist.

The Google, on the other hand, kinda likes this blog, and if you type in the right phrase, especially in Google image search, Google likes me™! For instance, let's say you type in "somebody gotsta pee" into Google search and go to the images page. The very first image is a lolz I took from the wonderful lolz folks who run I Can Has Cheezburger and I Has a Hot Dog. If you look farther down on the first page of images, there is another lolz with a link to my page, though it has nothing to do with "somebody gotsta pee". That's a problem with search engines. After they stop finding stuff you want, they just start making stuff up and hope you won't notice.

Then there are search phrases where multiple images you find on the Google images are from this blog you are reading right now. This is a special version of Google Likes Me™ I like to call Dominating the Dojo™, a phrase stolen from an episode of Seinfeld, which is not stopping a scofflaw like me from putting a trademark on it.

For instance, if you type in "Wednesday Math" into Google and check out the images, 11 of the first 20 images are from here. If you check the next few pages, I still show up a lot, with 17 of the first 40 images and 26 of the first 60. Just in case somebody finds this post, here's a picture of a truncated tetrahedron, just to give a little mathy goodness.

Given that I am now on the 74th edition of Wednesday math, this is only fair.

Slightly less fair, but still fair in my book, is the way I Dominate the Dojo™ when you type in "Giantess Lolz". My blog has 8 of the first 20 images, 19 of the first 40 and 24 of first 60. The only problem is that many of these images are just giantess or just lolz.

To alleviate that, I have decided to publish another giantess lolz, the collage originally produced by my friend and giantess collage legend Stephanie Evans. I have already said how much I like Julie Newmar, but if a six foot tall Catwoman is super neat, wouldn't a twenty three foot tall Catwoman be even super neater? If you answered yes, you may be one of My People.

There is some controversy when it comes to lolz giantesses, because blog buddy Undersquid claims that she came up with the idea first, and that I merely beat her to the punch in publishing. She has rescinded her claim that I read her mind with my mind reading machine, which is exactly what I wanted her to do. (Bwa-ha. Small villain laugh.) For now, we are claiming independent invention of the concept, with the stipulation that I did publish first.

But it's like Newton and Leibniz claiming to both having invented the calculus. Who do people believe today? The guy with the best publicist, of course.

Gotta look into that whole "hiring a publicist 250 years after your death" thing. Boy, it's worked wonders for Sir Isaac.


Undersquid said...

Just like battling rappers, we live at opposite sides of the country. Now we just need music videos and jail time, and we'll be in business.

Well, maybe not.

Those Google results are something else. I have a moderately decent dojo domination regarding the term "magnum 44", simply because Google Zeus decided it should be the third result on the first page.

Dr. Zaius said...

Although I am a big fan of the Platonic solids, I am not sure what a truncated tetrahedron has to do with Google. (Oh, the "Wednesday Math" part. Oops!)