Saturday, June 6, 2009
Just pretending to be crazy.
I am hardly in a position to talk about Glenn Beck. I pay no attention to him and only hear about him when he's done something crazy enough that someone else writes about him. A guy named Andy Cobb, who likes to mock the right wing, was digging through Beck's book "Heartland" and found a chapter where Beck is making out with his sister.
Except, of course, he's not.
No, Beck is not involved in an incestuous relationship. He's not even a polygamist, though he is a Mormon. He wrote that chapter in his book to warn his readers. His readers have to be warned about the evil, evil people who want you to believe that anything is "okay", whose moral relativism will soon mean that incest, pedophilia and man on dog sex will be the law of the land.
It always gets to man on dog sex eventually. It's the Santorum rule.
So, to be clear, Glenn Beck isn't a crazy pervert. He just pretends to be a crazy pervert to alert you to the evil plans of real crazy perverts, almost all of whom are what Glenn would consider to be "liberal" and ready to destroy our moral fiber by twisting our hallowed traditions into some perverted mockery.
Since Glenn is a Mormon, he probably spends more time reading that wacky "holy book" they love so much, and ignoring the Bible. God knows how vast the army of Bible ignorers is, and so he sent us Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, to set us all straight. Here, Betty explains what a "Bible based marriage" really means. She does bring up Lot and his wife, the kitchen condiment, but glosses over what happens after Lot's wife is gone and he is traveling with his daughters. It's kind of filthy, so I won't repeat it.
Maybe Glenn Beck could tell the story in a chapter of his next book.