Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Contrary to popular belief, I do have standards.


The true definition of child bride is not just that the man is older than is wife, but that the wife is underage. Tom Cruise has a gigantic child bride in Katie Holmes by the Matty Boy definition. This is nothing like Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his 14 year old cousin, an actual child bride situation by the legal definition. She was not gigantic, but a little impressionable girl that Lewis could control, which set a pattern through his entire life.

I did once, and only once, put in a picture of Anna Nicole Smith and the doddering old man she married in a gigantic child bride post that had a bunch of pictures, but other than that, the biggest age difference I can find in my gigantic child bride posts is about thirty years, which to my mind means "old enough to be her father." Unless you're a redneck living in Alaska, I'm going to define an eighteen year difference as "old enough to be her father", and doubling that would put the "old enough to be her grandfather" criterion starting at about thirty six year's difference.

And then there's the guy not pictured here. It's a small blessing that a man in his eighties has decided he only needs a harem of three young women instead of the seven he had earlier this decade. A man needs to know his limits. But I just hate looking at him with them. The oldest of the women he hangs around with right now is 24 and the youngest is 19, last time I checked. That means the age difference is about sixty years, and he's old enough to be their great grandfather.

Ick.

Some might say I'm just jealous. Strictly speaking, since I'm not in a relationship, I could be jealous of any man who has just one partner, regardless of her age or size relative to him. But that's not how I roll. It's just looking at this geezer and his replaceable part harem is a really depressing reminder that some old men are swine and some young women are mercenaries.

I kind of already knew that and don't need it rubbed in my face, thanks.

6 comments:

dguzman said...

Ick. I don't know who this swine is, but he is gross. I'm a little creeped by the 14-yr difference between AB and me, but at least I couldn't have been her mom. She also laughs because her dad is 14 years older than her mom, so it's a parallel.

Those women in the harem are almost as swiney as the man.

namastenancy said...

I remember doing a paper on Playboy magazine and realizing that the liberalization in sexual behavior had a real downside. Mr. HH is the prime example of sexuality without responsibility or maturity.
Blech!

Matty Boy said...

Birth control has made a real difference in the lives of both men and women, but women still bear the responsibility (and the children) if birth control goes wrong.

Sexual liberation was a much bigger win for men than it was for women.

Margaret Benbow said...

Thank you for your grace and good taste in leaving senile drooly old Hugh Hefner out of the picture. The interchangeable blond Pop Tarts are bad enough. Viagra, and greed, have a lot to answer for.

Lockwood said...

I was assuming it was HH, and came over to check comments to be sure. I agree w/ Margaret above; his obsession with young, blonde, big-boobed chicks (latter word chosen purposefully) is nothing short of sick.

Lisa said...

I'm trying to imagine that conversation between Hef and the girls. I'm not sensing that it's got much to do with anything of depth.

Um. Wait. Maybe I should rephrase that.