Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Contrary to popular belief, I do have standards.
The true definition of child bride is not just that the man is older than is wife, but that the wife is underage. Tom Cruise has a gigantic child bride in Katie Holmes by the Matty Boy definition. This is nothing like Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his 14 year old cousin, an actual child bride situation by the legal definition. She was not gigantic, but a little impressionable girl that Lewis could control, which set a pattern through his entire life.
I did once, and only once, put in a picture of Anna Nicole Smith and the doddering old man she married in a gigantic child bride post that had a bunch of pictures, but other than that, the biggest age difference I can find in my gigantic child bride posts is about thirty years, which to my mind means "old enough to be her father." Unless you're a redneck living in Alaska, I'm going to define an eighteen year difference as "old enough to be her father", and doubling that would put the "old enough to be her grandfather" criterion starting at about thirty six year's difference.
And then there's the guy not pictured here. It's a small blessing that a man in his eighties has decided he only needs a harem of three young women instead of the seven he had earlier this decade. A man needs to know his limits. But I just hate looking at him with them. The oldest of the women he hangs around with right now is 24 and the youngest is 19, last time I checked. That means the age difference is about sixty years, and he's old enough to be their great grandfather.
Some might say I'm just jealous. Strictly speaking, since I'm not in a relationship, I could be jealous of any man who has just one partner, regardless of her age or size relative to him. But that's not how I roll. It's just looking at this geezer and his replaceable part harem is a really depressing reminder that some old men are swine and some young women are mercenaries.
I kind of already knew that and don't need it rubbed in my face, thanks.