Sunday, July 5, 2009

I'll admit it... I'm envious.

Yesterday I wrote that Sarah Palin is through. Stick a fork in her, she's done, I wrote.

Let me clarify. She's through as a viable candidate for public office. We aren't through hearing about her.

God may love us, but He doesn't love us that much.

After all, the press still lets us know what that useless nobody Joe the Plumber is up to, and the public has shown much more interest in Caribou Barbie than they have in that unemployed loser.

As for evidence that the Wasilla based soap opera is not through, the always reliable Page Six of the New York Post reports the Levi Johnston is looking for a book deal, according to his bodyguard/publicist Tank.

I'm very rarely envious of the rich, and even less envious of the famous. To be famous but not rich sounds like the worst of all possible worlds. But reading this story, I found myself nearly overcome with desire for what another possesses.

I dearly want a bodyguard/publicist named Tank. I want it so much I yearn.

And, gentle reader, I suspect in your heart of hearts, you yearn for it, too.


Anonymous said...

Tank? Surely you jest. I read on the WaPo website that Sarah is broke, has over half a millo to pay in legal fees. She can also charge and get $60,000 per speech on the lecture circuit and 10% to fund raise with Repub candidates. I'm now thinking she's in it for the mulla. That would make some sense out of all this bizarro.

Matty Boy said...

It makes sense she is trying to cash in while she can. She's not really suited to public office, but any idiot can be a celebrity in this country.

But the bodyguard/publicist belongs to Levi Johnston, not Sarah Palin, and I am completely in earnest about wanting a bodyguard/publicist.

Holly said...

I'm with you. Maybe we can share Tank and split the fees...

Matty Boy said...

Hi, Holly! Thanks for the offer to split expenses, but if something should happen to you while Tank was fulfilling his role as my publicist, I'd never forgive myself.

dguzman said...

Wait, when did Sarah/Bristol have a baby named Tank, and how did he grow up fast enough to be Levi's (his dad's) bodyguard/agent?

She gives me a cornfusion.

My word verif is Sarah's next baby's name: Natedric. Perfect.