Impulse control.

It's easy to hate Silvio Berlusconi. As an American, his actions have little effect on my life, but if I imagine myself as an Italian, I would be in a near constant rage at this scumbag. He's the prime minister of the country, a right wing, warmongering, loud mouth racist. He also owns the largest media empire in Italy and A.C. Milan, one of the most successful soccer teams. He intervened in a Terry Schiavo like case where a woman in a coma for 17 years had finally been given the right to die in the Italian courts. Accused of corruption, his party voted to shorten the statute of limitations, which meant the case could never go to trial. Several Mafia turncoats have said he has mob ties. His wife has sued him for divorce after it became common knowledge he was involved with several other women, including at least one teenager. Berlusconi is 73 years old.

He's like the Super Skrull of scumbags. Mix in the worst parts of George Bush, Dick Cheney, Rupert Murdoch, George Steinbrenner, Tom DeLay, Tiger Woods, Hugh Hefner, Huey Long and Frank Sinatra and you have Silvio Berlusconi.


And yet now, I feel sorry for him. This weekend, some Italian with poor impulse control but excellent aim finally had enough and threw a small statue in Berlusconi's face, causing several facial lacerations and some broken teeth.

The family of the guy who hit Berlusconi apologized. The guy himself apologized. Now Berlusconi gets sympathy when the overwhelming amount of evidence says he's a criminal and a weasel several times over, but a criminal with the political power to have the laws changed.

For some time now, whenever I see the smiling face of Joe Lieberman, my first thought is "He has too many teeth." But lucky for me and Lieberman, I live 3,000 miles away from where he lives and I still have some impulse control. I hope everyone who hates Lieberman as much as I do has an equal amount of impulse control, and right now that's a long, long line.

The last thing that scummy bastard needs is sympathy.


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