Tuesday, May 18, 2010

"So, have you had the census dream yet?"

I've been working for the U.S. Census for about a month now. I'm a clerk in the office and several of the people I trained with are working on shifts that overlap with mine. There's a lot of guys named John in the office, including one friendly guy from Alameda who was in the same training class as I was in. This particular John rides his bike to work, as do many others, so he and I have that in common as well.

Last week, John asked me if I had any dreams of working at the Census yet. When he asked, the answer was no, but this weekend, I had my first.

It was a dream about being at work without pants. You know, that dream.

But recently, I have noticed that I am quite the problem solver in dreams. It turns out I have my pants, I just forgot to put them on. So I duck into an empty room for some privacy, put my pants back on and hope as few people as possible saw me.

When I step back out, my supervisor and her supervisor are waiting for me. The room I stepped into to get dressed was a restricted area, and they have no choice but to let me go. "Was the problem that I wasn't wearing pants?" I ask. Oh, no, no, they both agree. Not wearing pants wasn't the problem, it was entering the restricted room. "I didn't know the room was restricted." That didn't matter, the rules are clear, I'd have to be terminated.

Then I woke up.

You know how if you die in your dream you die in real life? Not true. I've had falling dreams where I landed. Ow. So now I've had a dream in which I was fired, but I haven't actually lost my job. Those first few minutes after waking up were a little odd, though. My thoughts, in order were:

Oh, hell, I lost that job. I really need the cash.
Wait! It was just a dream.
I wasn't at work with no pants.
There is no restricted room that will get you fired.
Oh, no! I'm not wearing pants!
Wait, that's okay. I just woke up. I don't wear pants when I'm sleeping.


And so now I have had the census dream. I hope it's just one per customer.


Padre Mickey said...

Is "Are you wearing pants?" one of the questions on the Census?

Matty Boy said...

LOL! From what you wrote on your blog, I think it is one of the questions on the Panama census, but not here in the Land of Gun Totin' Liberty!