Friday, October 22, 2010

Don't say nothin' bad about my baby.

Have you ever heard of drunk dialing? Of course, you have. Have you any first hand experience with drunk dialing? If you can answer in the negative, you are a more evolved human being than I am.

Here's an excellent rule of thumb with drunk dialing. If you get the answering machine, Odin, Krishna and the Li'l Baby Jesus are trying to tell you to HANG THE FUCK UP!!!!!

Cute li'l Ginny Thomas, a mere child of 53 years old, has had no one to instruct her in the proper ettiquette of drunk dialing, so she gets into the Drunk Dialing Hall of Fame on her very first try. If we are to believe a voicemail, she called Anita Hill, the woman who said her husband was a creepy scumbag and probably shouldn't get a job for life on the Supreme Court, and told Ms. Hill that it would be a good thing if she admitted she was wrong and apologized after all this time. She even told Ms. Hill that she "should pray on it."

Ginny has no idea how creepy that sounds to sane people, having so little personal contact with them. She works at The Heritage Foundation and before that for the Chamber of Commerce.

Stunningly, Ms. Hill decided that no conversation with Odin, Krishna or the Li'l Baby Jesus was necessary and that no apology would be forthcoming.

Ms. Thomas married Clarence in 1987, an innocent child who had only seen 30 summers, so she clearly did not know the ways of the world. Hon, here's a clue. Clarence had been around the block a few times before he got wind of your fat ass.

What's worse than drunk dialing? Ex-girlfriends, bitch. Here's another lesson most folks learn before they hit menopause.

Anita Hill would have stayed a dim memory from the early 90's, a trivia answer slightly better known than the name of The Tick's sidekick (Arthur), not as well known as the big hit for Bell Biv Devoe (Poison). Since Ginny had to proclaim her husband was not a creepy, porn addicted lover of the big bazooms and Anita Hill a jealous lying harpy, one of Clarence Thomas' ex-girlfriends who did NOT testify in front of the Senate thought this would be as good a time as any to tell her side of the story.

Her side: Years ago, Clarence Thomas was a creepy, porn addicted lover of the big bazooms.

Gentle readers, if you are new to the world of drunk dialing, let this be a lesson to you. As bad as it can be if the person you are trying to reach in your diminished state picks up, it's about a jillion times worse of you leave a voice message.

Glad to be of assistance with the 'splainin'.


Fran said...

Oh that photo from the People cover. My eyes. How they burn, how they burn...

I'm still trying to work out how Ginny leaving that message for Anita is an olive branch.

Zoey and Me said...

I think the Ginny is a TeaBeggar, Matty Boy. She is excused from drunk dialing. Keep in mind my friend, "I'm not a witch, I'm You!"