Wednesday, January 25, 2012

¡Ay, dios mio!
¡La orgia de locura y horror en Florida!

The polls in Florida are going nuts. Gingrich had a comfortable lead just a couple of days ago, but several recent polls have Romney way ahead.  Let us recall that Florida is not South Carolina.  The northern half of the state, sometimes called the Redneck Riviera, will love the red meat thrown out by Gingrich, but the southern half is more metropolitan than Dixie-ish, and Mitt is favored down there.

And now throw this into the mix. Univision interviewed Newt, Mitt and Santorum, but not Ron Paul? (I smell a conspiracy.) One of the Univision interviewers "went there" and asked if Mitt could be counted - if elected - as the first Mexican-American president.

Lemme 'splain.

Mitt's granddaddy was in a little trouble concerning the polygamy laws in the good of U.S. of A., so he skedaddled down Mexico way.  Daddy George was born on Mexican soil. The heat warmed up south of the border for other reasons, so the Romneys cross the border back to the Land of the Free Gift With Purchase.  Mitt was born here, so he is officially an anchor baby.

His name is actually Willardo Miteo Romney Garcia-Lopez.  For gringos unfamiliar with the lingo, that is pronounced "WeeJARdo MeeTAYo R-R-R-R-R-R-ROMney GarCEEah LoPETH.  The z is pronounced with the Castilian lisp because... well, it's more fun.

P.S. Okay, I'll admit it.  I made up the last paragraph.  The one just before it is the gospel truth.

P.P.S.  The name La Orgia de Locura y Horror is the Spanish for The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Its literal translation is "The Orgy of Craziness and Horror".  I saw it with subtitles in El Salvador.  I was asked to leave for talking back to the screen like a borracho gringo.  I wasn't actually drunk.


Tengrain said...

This is all excellent research. Who knew that anyone in Willardo's family had ever been kissed south of the border, if you know what I mean and I think you do.



Daniel Milstein said...

That is true. As an author and business man, I can relate to how you said, "The polls in Florida are going nuts. Gingrich had a comfortable lead just a couple of days ago, but several recent polls have Romney way ahead. Let us recall that Florida is not South Carolina". I hope more people discover your blog because you really know what you're talking about. Can't wait to read more from you!

sfmike said...

My favorite Spanish movie title for a Hollywood film was that John Travolta sensation, "Vaselina" aka "Grease."

Anonymous said...

I live here in Florida. And the pubs don't know what to do with this clown show. They are hoping the Koch bros find them a ticket to ride. I can't even call this one.

Padre Mickey said...

¡Excelente relato sobre tu tiempo en El Salvador. Era en el otro San José en Costa Rica todo la semana pasado.

dguzman said...

You had me, Matty Boy. I was ready to call my mom and ask if we were related to Miteo.

I have heard my dad call some of our relatives "pendejos," you know.