Friday, March 1, 2013

Pretty Actresses, Stinky Careers:
The Official Ballot

Okay, so it's time for a poll. The category is pretty actresses who have good performances to look back at and some serious cheese that is hard to ignore. I want to thank the folks who helped with the nomination process. I trimmed back a few because IT'S MY BLOG and YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME!

Wait, that's actually only one reason. Hmm.

In any case, here are the nominees in alphabetical order.

Jennifer Aniston

I liked her in: Office Space, The Iron Giant

But she was also in: Just Go With It, The Bounty Hunter, etc.

Some people liked Friends. I didn't. Still, she fits both the requirements and so she's on the list.

Halle Berry

I liked her in: X-Men

But she was also in: Catwoman, Gothika, etc.

I won't lie, she's the reason I put this list together.

Sarah Michelle Gellar

I LOVED her in: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

But she was also in: Scooby-Doo, Southland Tales, etc.

Easily my favorite actress on the list, but the writing may have a tiny amount to do with it.

Nicole Kidman

I liked her in: Billy Bathgate, The Hours

But she was also in: Australia, Bewitched, etc.

She definitely will give Halle Berry a run for her money.

Milla Jovovich

I liked her in: Dazed and Confused, The Fifth Element

But she was also in: Resident Evil parts 1 through n

Jennifer Lopez

I liked her in: Out of Sight

But she was also in: Gigli, Enough, Maid In Manhattan


Charlize Theron

I liked her in: Arrested Development, The Legend of Bagger Vance

But she was also in: Aeon Flux, The Road, Sweet November

There are many strong options here, so you are allowed to vote for as many candidates as you want.  The poll will be open for a week, so make your voice heard.

Vote early, vote often. I support your right to vote in Internet polls, even though it is obviously an entitlement you clearly don't deserve.

(Ha, ha. Scalia reference.)


Lockwood said...

Appreciate I can choose more than one, also that you pointed out each *has* made a good movie or two. Another obscure one with Jovovich that *I* quite liked was "Dummy."

Michael Strickland said...

I'm sorry, what are we voting for? The cutest? The stinkiest career? Whether we like them? Or hate them? Please advise.

Matthew Hubbard said...

Lockwood: Thanks for the suggestion.

Michael: Fair question. What I was thinking of is the distance of stinkiness from attractiveness. As a mathematician, I know all too well that distance is a tricky concept.

I argue that I didn't put anyone on this list with no talent. One way to think of it is this.

If you think Actress A is more attractive than Actress B AND you think Actress B has made better career choices, then Actress A wins in both attractiveness and stinkiness of career, so Actress B should be eliminated, since she is not on the same level as Actress A. Eliminate as many as you can.

If you end up with actresses you can't eliminate using this process, give all the survivors votes.

Sorry I didn't make the criteria more obvious. My bad.

Michael Strickland said...

Dear Matthew: Thanks for the clarification, and obviously there's only one choice. Halle Berry wins in a landslide. Hollywood didn't have a clue what to do with her after "Monster's Ball." I'll vote now.

AphotoAday said...

Hey Matty... Am I the ONLY person in this world who has never seen ANY of these women in ANY movie? To be honest, the last (((non porno))) movie theater I attended was in Fairfax roughly 45 years ago. I loved Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy. A movie that I will never forget. I'm guessing nobody has made anything better since!
But not to be left out, I have just attempted to select a winner by throwing a dart at my monitor. Regretting that now, but I hit Halle Berry, which may or may not be fair, because 4 other beauties were not even visible (((hittable))) on the screen.